Crypto, Life, Work

Volatility on Cryptocurrency

Okay, for the past 30 days, major cryptocurrencies had faced a “pump-and-dump” pattern, for leisure traders like me, it granted us opportunities to enter the market and flushed out disruptive traders and for new “whales” to be granted of their position.

However on the good sight, the volatility only fluctuates within a stipulated zone meaning to say it is for the trading to gain support and this support will be a base for further movements, normally upwards.

BTC.JPG
BTC [Month for Sept – Oct]
Not sure if this is a deja-vu that prior to the bull run 2 years back. Same trades patterns were seen. 😉 Can’t wait especially Bitcoin is halving in May 2020.

I wonder if it’s a psychological effect that it will boost the price or rather it’s downright to the supply and demands where the Governments are slowly accepting bitcoin as a form of payments/ usage.

Not sure if the volatility is something that the Governments or the Future of Work would want to deal with. Should I even consider to shift my investments to Copytrading? Argh.

The inner demons are making their ways in. And I do know that if one is looking at short terms gains, one should consider Copytrading/ Forex and not Crypto.

Comments below. 🙂

Life, Rants, Work

Entrepreneurship, was never an easy feat.

I was writing this during my gap time commuting to work. Sometimes I think back, everyone just envied the lives of Entrepreneurs but no one exactly knows the pain and fears behind one’s hard work to build a budding team, dream and perhaps, an empire.

For 1st time Entrepreneur, it will always be a steep learning curve where every steps and the path is relatively unknown but on another hand, I think it would be exciting.

I always believe finding a mentor to guide will help if one do not have the gift of business acumen as experiences will help to build it.

Sometimes I would to travel back time and advise my younger self,

I would say,

Start early because the first mover advantage will definitely help in Business.

And also be a bigger person.

People will laugh at your idea, shame your idea, put you down and etc. Dont bother to argue. The time spent to argue can be out into better use to build the business.

The biggest takeaway that I learnt during this tenure would be, the ability to say no and the ability to walk away. Both sometimes coincide but again, it takes a courage to say NO in Business.

When everyone always praised, “I wish that I can also earn this amount as you.” and all the I wish that I am you. But none will actually look beyond to realise whats the amount of efforts to reach where one is today. If one actually says, “I lauded your efforts and perseverance.” Most prolly, he/she is an Entrepreneur too.

So, support small and local business. You are helping one to build that dream and collectively build a sustainable business.

Thus I made it a point to support a friend’s business first prior to anything else. 🙂

Life, Rants, Reflections, Work

Social Experiment

The past week had been challenging, so is the trade markets. Oil prices, commodities, even the protest in Hongkong had created an impactful shift across all markets and including myself.

HA. Because currently, I’m in a role where I faced more rejections than anything else so I decide to YOLO once and went for a social experiment on how people reacted to me and whether anyone will cast judgment without knowing me as a person but just by my outlooks especially with my…

  • First Tattoo. Yes, I know. “Imprints” get judge more often.
  • Followed by, the change of my hair color, not to a monotone but a unicorn tone. As this totally fits into my bill of fickle-mindedness because right after I dyed it at my trusted salon, J2 Hair Salon, I just realised that whichever color I feel like showcasing more, all I need was to change my hair parting in accordance.

 

Left (2016)/ Right (NOW)

  • Attitude. Adopted a heck care attitude because I just want to find out if gracious people tend to be bullied. And I wondered if I ever get beaten up if I keep on tsk-ing people (Check out how to tsk people correctly with strong support from CPF. Just joking.)

To be honest, I’m quite fearful that my parents/ colleagues/ bosses cannot accept the change as I did not inform them in advance/ prior to this.

Random note; the girls love it. They love anything unicorn. HAHA.

So during the weekends, when I bought the girls out, everyone seems to give a disapproving look on the streets and I even overheard a comment,

“See, girl. You must study hard if not next time, you will need to be food delivery rider and bring kids along for work.”

O-M-G. I carried a Grabfood paperbag with my kiddos waterbottles in it doesn’t meant I worked for them leh. I just cannot find a bag to contain their items when I’m rushing out. AND SOMEMORE, I graduated with a degree and alot of self-improvement certificates that helped me excel in my career. -_-

Best part, my mum did not even notice it when I was working around with my stuff when I’m back at my maiden home, for hours. Perhaps, tying up my hair helps.

Actually, the real challenge in me is actually how my bosses, colleagues, business partners whom I will meet, will react to my new looks.

So I reported for work on Monday. Here’re the results:

  • My boss did not comment but I feel he’s ok with this. [Boss ah, let me know if you are not ok hor?] Updated as of 16 Sept, my direct supervisor told me the CE disapprove of the colors. LOL so I dyed back on 17 Sept.
  • Colleagues were shocked and my Teamies gave me a look of affirmation then disapproval.
  • The guys who’ve worked at a different level and whom I’ve always spoken to in the lift saw me during lunch and thought I was “another” person. They couldn’t even recognize me.
  • My friends saw my social media postings, gave me thumbs up instead of thumbs down.

Ok lah, to be honest, I’m not sure if they would have discussed this behind my back though but I couldn’t care less. :]


And the real deal came when I am running late for a meeting at Ayer Rajah. I was changing my route to cross over from East-West line to the Circle line at Buona Vista MRT and I heard a man standing in the middle of the pavements asking into the thin air if anyone can direct him to the East-West line (towards Jurong direction). I then realized he seems to have a partial visual impairment. Many of the people of different diversity and dress codes, walked past him without helping him.

Despite telling myself — to adopt a heck care attitude mentioned earlier, it just couldn’t get through me. Yes, I might be late if I lend a helping hand but well, that few minutes might matter more to him than to me. Imagine, he lost his footings and…

So I walked up and approached him and directed him to the right direction. Realising that the lift is a long walk from where he is, I asked him if it’s ok for me to lead him up to the platforms via escalator. He was apologizing that he might delayed my time and etc. I told him I’m free and asked him to hold onto my elbow.

Thank god for my stint in PA that exposed me to various techniques to deal from the physically challenged peeps.

In any case; to guide a blind/ partially sighted person; one would need to follow these steps (Courtesy from RNIB and Webeye):

  1. Walk up, introduce yourself and speak to the person whom you are going to guide him.
  2. Offer the person your services and ask him/ her on how would they prefer to be guided.
  3. The person being guided should lightly grasp the guide’s arm, thumb out, just above their elbow. Right elbow of the guide will be grasped by the left hand of the person being guided, and vice versa. The left elbow of the guide will be grasped by the right hand of the person being guided. For children, have them grasp your wrist or hold your hand. When an individual acts as a human guide, they should walk a half step ahead of the person they are guiding.
  4. Tell them about every steps/ curbs/ stairs as you approach them. Tell them to step “up” or “down”.
  5. Mention any potential hazards/ narrow corridors that lie ahead and say where they are.
  6. If you are guiding someone into a seat, place their hand on the back of the seat before they sit down, so they can orientate themselves.
  7. Don’t walk away without saying you are leaving.

So that minute of help resulted in me knowing that he had his vision partially lost due to genetics. Despite the fact, he’s still making efforts to look for jobs and being mobile to stay positive.

When we parted at the platform, I was asking the few of the people standing on the platforms to look out for him and directed him to the right station (and yes, I got a few disapproving looks from some onlookers due to my tattoo and hair while I help the guy). Thank god for a couple of kind souls and he wished me well in my life.

Conversations like this pulled me up from all the rejections I had to face during my course of work (as they are downright demotivating) and I felt even more determined to help the community via Piggyback.


And thus I instill a habit for myself and the girls while decluttering those that I do not need. I will either post via Blessing for Low Incomes-Sg, Yishun Blessing group and my own BTO closed Facebook group to ask if anyone closeby would need the things that I no longer need.

To my surprise, a lot of my so-called stuff became prized processions of their new owners.

And this boils down to…

“When you judge others. You do not define them. You define yourself. No one had ever walk the same path as you. Experiences made current choices. Future choices are based on your aptitude towards life and attitude on how you approach it.”

Like what my mum always say, “When you are pointing 1 finger at others, you are pointing 4 at yourself.”

Brace on people and do lending a helping hand when possible because you’ll never know when you will need others to lend you theirs.

Life, Rants, Reflections, Work

5 Great Reasons to Move Out from the “Comfort Zone”​.

Was chancing upon this article that I shared via my LinkedIn, 2.5 years back and thus thought that I shall repost this as a reminder. X


The economy is bleak with a gloomy outlook shadowing the small red dot… This doesn’t stop me from finding an opportunity out there, out and away from my so-called “comfort zone”.

To be frank, I am comfortable with the work that I am doing, for the true fact that I had been in the company for 6 years, doing the same routine and the lifestyle of having to do shift works had been accustomed to. The colleagues are like my family and the workplace is just like a second home furthermore, I am in the Public Service, it would be a real stable job and importantly, stable amidst the uncertain economy thus many ask me the million-dollar question…

WHY DO YOU WANT TO MOVE OUT FROM THE COMFORT ZONE?

I took 2 months to decide on my new career path and I made it based on a few reasons and thought, perhaps it’s good to share in order to help those in a similar situation when they are deciding on the switch.

1) BROADEN YOUR PERSPECTIVE

I guess many of us always hear from the bosses that we need to inject new ideas to propel forward however this could be a double-edged sword to an extent. For organizations exclude the Government servants, profits are the main key to drive the company forward. Staying in the comfort zone would not broaden your perspective as everyone had been instilled the mindset that certain things need to be done only this way. It’s a repeated formula and a successful one but nowadays people are educated with the given technology, one will always need to break the norm and to do so, one needs to go out to see what is out of that comfort circle. It’s like the mundane education that we promote from Grade to Grade.

Just imagine this that we do not propel forward if we stay put in Grade 1, forever. Or do we still remember that we took on Science at Grade 3 and it was a subject that was not taught in Grade 1 and 2 and everyone was just excited to know about this new subject and realized the fact that there is THIS SUBJECT and the anticipation to know more awaits?

Travelling does has the same effect. 🙂

 

2) TO LEARN NEW THINGS/ KNOW NEW PEOPLE.

With that perspective being different, one would be anticipating a new life ahead in a strange environment, with an open mind. It’s important to throw away the mindset from the previous job to stick to the norm as the successful formula may differ from the job. Having an open mind, one would be able to learn new things and forged new friendships. One should never stop learning and learning at times will give us surprises in Life and perhaps unearthed our hidden talent. Think about this… Ever thought that in life you might not even know how to fry an egg? But again, all thanks to cookbooks, MasterChef shows and tons of practice, you manage to fry not just an egg, but perhaps, steam an egg, make an omelette and etc… How does one do that? Learn and practice and somehow it repeats. No one knows how to do that job in the first place, everyone started from somewhere and learn along the way, from people and from many other sources.

3) CAREER PROGRESSION/ MAKE YOURSELF MARKETABLE

Always move for career progression if your current place is stagnant. Please do not get me wrong, I am not recommending job-hopping. Someone should stay at least 3 years to learn almost ALL the ropes within the Organisation. Compare this. Candidate A with 10 years in the same company but with/ without steady progression but on another hand, Candidate B with 10 years in 2 companies with the fact that it’s always a career progression path (Executive >>> Manager). Employers will look at both and perhaps, Candidate B pose more exposure which meant, they are open to changes (it’s a hard truth that it’s evitable in current world) and perhaps had more experience in dealing with sticky situations. Employers want to employ talents to solve their problems BUT not to create more problems or left the problems unsolved. Getting out of comfort zone proved your willingness to take up risks and challenges, this gonna be a competitive advantage from the peers who followed the norm. Successful people always do not follow the norm. Quote Steve Jobs.

4) YOU WON’T FEEL THAT PINCH – MONETARY CONTENTMENT

Especially you are doing a total career switch of industry. As you climbed higher and normally the more years you spend in the organization, you command more pay but if you are going to do that switch, the other industry might not meet your current pay package and you might suffer a big gap. The sooner you start to figure out what you want, the lesser pinch you will feel in terms of monetary contentment. And in reality, we need that money to finance whatever we have and to keep us going.

 

5) THE #YOLO THEORY

#YOLO. There will never be a good time to move out from comfort zone and when the right opportunity come by, why not especially when one had no commitments – kids and one is still young especially. The younger generations will need to explore out from their comfort zone because this is an advantage. If the opportunity came and it wasn’t the right one, the young ones can restart the career again as they had plenty of time to catch up. On a bonus note, if the opportunity tends to be a passion/ hobby. 🙂 Importantly, no regrets till the very last breath. I heard feedback from my current colleagues whom some had stayed in the job for more than 30 years and regretted not stepping out to see the world.

AND A BONUS POINTER,

If you wake up in the morning and dreads going to work. It’s time for a change. Research says that the more motivated you are towards your work, it drives a higher efficiency in the job. Also, some of you might just want to get away from negative energy/ toxic people.

Importantly, we must always enjoy what we are doing and STAY HUMBLE.

 

Good Luck.

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT:

To my colleagues (Jolene, Radzi, Andrew, July, Esther, Ervin, Andy, Michael, Qinghui, Mdm Lau, Angela, Noraini, Ris and etc…) who enriched, endured and endeared my 6 years stay in People’s Association who made me feel like home and treated me as a family member. I will miss you all.

To my superiors, family members and close friends who are supportive of my move. I will be grateful as it gives me a push to leap forward.

I would like to thank the superiors (ex-superiors too) and the current organization for all the opportunities given.

To all the friends who I had made during these 6 years, thank you because I am glad to have known you all and it’s you who made Who-I-Am today.

Cheers.

Crypto, Life, Rants, Work

Thoughts about Cryptocurrency/ Blockchain

To be honest, initially due to my first negative encounter with Crypto, I was never a fan until I researched about/ on it more during my job search and I couldnt comprehend more that the Crypto/ Blockchain adoption really depends on the current generation and the upcoming millenials.

Many had asked, why I am a believer of it? Reason is simple, it would be a reference to the dotcom era where no one believe in the Internet could make it one day. Cryptocurrency/ Blockchain would just the the dotcom of tomorrow.

In today’s world, take example, China. Their major cities had advanced so fast that even a beggars on the street within the cities held a smartphone and people rendered cash through the scanning of the QR Code. Lifestyle changes and where everyone is doing the same thing, one need to evolve to fit into the same lifestyle in order to survive.

Not forgetting, Crypto boomed in China at the early years until the Government had to ban it due to political issues and the rise of many unethical/ illegal Crypto transactions. There is a need to strike a balance there thus the move to ban was necessary.

Friends in the space had always told me, majority of the mining machines are still based in China and China is now deemed the strongest blockchain-powered Nation due to the robust pool of tech talents.

Back to the topic, please don’t get it wrong about my political stands. I’m just using the above as an example to show that technology evolution is bound to happen and we will just have to embrace it along the way otherwise we will be out of the game and biting the dust.

Various Governments had start to embrace the digital payments and the use of Blockchain Technology and Cryptocurency. Both of them are inter-linked and will definitely be part of our life in near future, like a form of payment.

People just need to be exposed to more education and I had always ponder over the decline circulating supply of the various key Cryptocurrency, I just wonder which will be the next $Bitcoin #BTC?

The ecosystem needs more support from Individuals and hopefully after reading this, written by a Crypto-convert (Yours Truly) , <YOU> can do more research on this and be part of the circle. 🙂

Check out my contact details at the sidebar if you would like to have a quick chat.

Life, Reflections, Work

Hold Back

In life, the greatest regret that one might have would be giving in to procrastination. I always remember that story when one just sit on something and did not find the time, motivation and made the efforts to pursue and wait for someone else to work on it.

I guess this is just human nature that one gave in to failures and stop trying. And I am guilty as charged.

Thus I made it a point that I will just walk through the years and hopefully hardwork will reap the fruit of success. 🙂 I need the second income to facilitate, work from home had always been a dream of mine where I can really spend time with the family and the kids. 🙂

Financial freedom and commercializing both Scentimental and Piggyback shall be the goals of Year 2019.

Good luck and bless me. I will not hold back anymore.

Reflections, Work

Tech Life/ Lie

LOL. Tech firms burn the most money and sometimes I wonder why did I try to pursue this line of industry when I do not have the CTO experience. I need to cut cost and believe in myself till the extend that I draw up my own wire frame from scratch.

That’s like OUCH. Because not being an artistic person, I need to always trial and error. God damn it and I am always so close in giving up or rather I kept asking myself, why didn’t I give up?!

Hardwork will reap the fruits of success. Ok, no cold blankets please. Mark my words.

Life, Parenthood, Reflections, Work

Little Bun is OUT.

Finally.

The little bun is out on 1st August and I’m 10 days in my confinement, feeling depressed over everything. I need that rest but I can’t rest and looking at Little Bun, I am motivated to go on stronger and tougher.

I doubted I had the courage to relook into the near future, everything seems so cloudy – I don’t  know how to move on with my career because another side of me wants to witness the growing up of Little Bun and DRMs. Every single job that came in with an attractive offer requires me to travel constantly. Draining up every single dollars and cents for this pregnancy made me feel bad towards DRMs. Sometimes I wonder if my life is really jinxed.

If only life is so perfect that I had a pillar of support, someone whom I can trust wholeheartedly, love wholeheartedly, less argumentative, less irritating and be there for me always. If only there is this person alive.

The husband had been slogging his life away and I really feel bad about it at times but again, BFF told me, it’s his outright duties, responsibilities and role. And there are inner thoughts about other stuff. Hopefully you feel me when I’m at my lowest.

On another hand, I wonder if the Government is serious about helping local enterprise because apparently, it doesn’t feel so. Because I had met up with so many roadblocks during my enterprise journey but I will persevere through. Because hardwork will reap success.

Am blessed to have many friends who are there cheering me on, providing all levels of support and importantly, family who are always there for me.

My MIL cycled all way from her house to my house and cooked for me EVERY SINGLE DAY – where to get this type of MIL? Despite everyone asking me to rest, I guess I got this super jian4 ming4, slogging on my computer away on both enterprises. 🙂

I CAN DO IT.

On contra, I am still exploring options and is attending interviews DURING my confinement. #WHATALIFE

I seriously just want to be grounded back home and look at Little Bun every single day. LOL. Reality is harsh.

一个人养孩子真的很辛苦。各位单亲妈妈/ 爸爸你们辛苦了。Jiayou!

Quotes, Reflections, Work

Insomnia; a lesson to learnt.

It seems like pregnancy supposed to be a celebratory thing instead of being constantly depressed over finances, job roles and etc.

March seems like it had always been a bad ass month for me especially since I left PA 2 years back. Last year, I had to walk out from the traumatic experience of a similar #metoo incident that left me a quick mark on my resume. This year, I had to ponder over an unjust change of job role and had to curb with various constant threats of me, losing the job.

I guessed it right. Gender discrimination exists in this era and ecosystem. Pregnancy supposed to be celebrated, well received than in a depression state. I can’t sleep well thus I am typing at this timing at 5.44 am to let out my thoughts and also, to pen down this important and painful lesson for me to remember.

I made wrong choices over the months and sometimes I wished that I could just turn the time back especially in terms of career. But there is one thing for sure, I will never forsake my kids be it in whatever circumstances it is. My 3 daughters are the sacrifices of the harsh and pathetic life I am leading, being a single income, staying within a unsupportive circle of trust and the need to live to work (not work to live).

However having said that, I had indeed thought of through of abortion at the initial start because this pregnancy was never easy to begin with. Ironic isn’t it? All because it was expensive, painful and all the nasty things that a pregnancy that shouldn’t be encountered, was seen and fulfilled on me. I went through 3 different Gynae to have my issues fixed.

Yet, I need to mask this in my early days and do my best in something (because in fearing that I will be terminated for whatever reasons), all for an exchange of a self-perceived discrimination and in a situation that one will squeezed me further till the hope of an instant self surrender.

I admired the courage that a woman had to go through an abortion because the guilt will forever stay. The courage to live on with this guilt is a strength that one can never imagine. Having said that, I am blessed with 3 great Gynae who had never once asked me to give up on this. They could just go for the easy money with just one advice – abortion. They just spoke with positive words. Nothing heals better especially from a doctor’s mouth. On contradictory, I almost became a murderer by scheduling the “A” appointment not once but thrice but for these appointments, the furthest I went was the counter of the clinic and I made 1000000000 and 1 excuses not to proceed with the next step. The Gynae immediately gave me an “ORD” status as he said, I wasn’t operational ready. Thank god, a life had been saved. Despite all the downside of this miracle pregnancy…

Of course, somehow or rather I am glad for various supportive personnels; I am starting the “thank-you” rounds not in any forms of order.

Jojo & BFF – the first few (s) who knew about it and had been there for the encouraging words. Really thank you for keeping the spirits up during the early days.

L&J – Sounds as if I am scolding you guys vulgarities. You know who you are and in case #sliteyes happened to chance across this. Both of you are in fact, in the 1st 5-people list to know about the pregnancy. Thank you for making work fun despite all the nonsensical arguments and constantly reminding me to eat well (and on time), live well, heal well and keeping a look out for me. Thank you for all the junk food, tonic and laughters. Importantly, the love everyday in office, it just kept me going. And to Brother L, “Hope is indeed a dangerous shit thing.”

Another Half – I only want to thank you for stopping me at various times over harsh decisions but to be frank, the harshest decision had yet to come. But I thank you for being in my life to enable me to see things more vividly especially on the ugliest sight of the human beings. Thank you for gifting me the kids and some impromptu support as and when I needed it.

June from the Buttons Project – The lunch at J8 indeed inspired me alot especially on the part that you gifted me that book written by Jennifer. It was never easy to go through whatever you went through and had to further relate this to me, a complete stranger and in turn, become strength for me to go on further. May you continue this journey to inspire and lead people out from the darkness.

Jennifer – Although we had yet to meet but your story had pulled me from the pit hole of darkness. Your mission had inspired me to work harder and in near future inspire and empower more women when I succeed in my calling. May you continue this journey to inspire and lead people out from the darkness similar to what June did. Forgiving is easy but Forgetting is hard. It was never an easy feat but us, women can do it.

Jim – Although we kind of met only once in person thus far but somehow I believed you are different from the rest of the employers/ people I met. But your words of encouragements during the early days had indeed sank further into me that I reminded myself if one day, I were to succeed in terms of the career, I would need to adopt approaches like you as I believed in #payingitforward. Would look forward to a chance to work with/ for you.

Le Sister & Mum – To my sister, thank you for being a listening ear and the comment “Why would you kill your own child when you can’t bear to even put down a dog.” woke me up instantly. Although you still suck at communication but I am glad that you listened. To my mum, thank you for being there for me despite my tantrums.

To the people who left me a PM to ask how I am and constantly reminded me how great I was as a person. All these encouraging words had brought me out from the darkness and it saved me as a person who once had suicidal thoughts. Thank you Jac, David, Zie and etc.

To my Daughters and Furkids – Although I am not sure if you get to read this but thank you for being my happy pills, always. Despite my hectic schedules since Day 1, you guys rock my world and will always be my world. Sorry that I can’t commit to give you a better life. It’s holidays I know but yet I need to work. Mummy loves you all. 🙂

YO-UR (you know who I am referring to) – Indeed a love/ hate relationship with you but thank you for making me a better person and also, letting me to see myself as a better person. Thank you for constantly dropping me reminders and strength from afar and letting me know that I am not alone. I do not know what strength you possess but despite all my nasty words to you, you still believed in me and my dreams. Thank you for all the tender loving care and things that you do, in hoping to make my life better. Perhaps I should dedicate one post in near future if I have the chance, to you. I wonder how you trained your tolerance level at times. Whatever it is, I am grateful towards you and I meant it.

MYSELF – Life is full of up & down. Everyone has their own time in their own race. This defeat doesn’t meant life is up and you should give up. The patients in the palliative wards are fighting to live. You must paid it forward once you succeed so that other women who might be more unfortunate are able to survive this ordeal. Life is a painting, the good or bad, the sorrow or happiness are all determined by the Artist. This is just a passing phase, it will be better and you can do it. Halting plans perhaps meant you need to learn more before executing it. Go and open up your eyes and heart. to measure the beauty of life. When the doors of opportunities closes, go build one. You need to find a calling and your calling is the passion for the community.

Perhaps… Remember this.

“Sometimes God closes doors because its time to move forward. He knows you wont move unless your circumstances force You. Trust God, Always.”

It would not be a goodbye but a goodnight for now. I will wake up to a better tomorrow. I hope.

Life, Parenthood, Work

I wonder, why.

Some news are deserved to be celebrated but apparently, for mine, low-keyed and on a hideous mode and on this verge on being made redundant.

Over the past few weeks, I read through tons of news on #womenintech #techstartup and coping with p_ _ _ _ _ _ _y within the start-up eco-system.

Hideous mode meant that I need to upkeep certain rules. Managing different schedules and etc.

I decided to halt certain plans and proceed with just doing the best for the job.

I realised this could be the one that kills, looking at various options and uncertainty but I looked at the upcoming one, this gonna be the apple of my eye, indeed.