Parenting 101: Lugging the 4 Girls to Swim, Alone.

Sometimes I think my guts are way bigger than what my mind, body and soul can contain but I guess, at extreme times, it will be a desperate call for everything else when things get… situational.

Over the weekends, the girls went for a stay over at D’Resort to celebrate joy and (my SIL) Joyce’s birthday (no pun intended). So as every kids would asked – Is there bathtub? Is there swimming pool? Is there…

And sometimes how I wished my answer is a flat, NO. But Google being the evil babysitter answered to all of the girls’ questions.

Well done, Google. Well done, Technology.

So the next question is – Can YOU bring me to swim? Can YOU bring me to… Horrifying indeed. Sometimes these Q&As turn me off to an extend where I wanted to just stuff everyone back to my womb. I kid you not.

And it happened when, no one is free to bring them and the only person available is ME. And swimming tends to be a hazardous activity down my list of “DO NOT”(s) especially the kids are the adventurous ones. And girls being girls, I always had this constant fear that bad stuff will happened to them (Read up those molest cases and etc…)… So the first tactic that I always pulled off?

1. Clear Flat Rejections – Sorry, menses is here. LOL. (But having said that, the girls went to the extreme (and extra mile) to check me out and realised I lied. Damn.)
2. So when Tactic #1 failed and if the request is still within one’s ability, just go for it lor.

And to ensure that the guilt trip trap will be a success. The girls emphasized on their “last” swimming experience and the lack of childhood physically exhaustive activities (because I was always the safe-mama who won’t appreciate rides…)

And ta-da here we go! A mother of 4 lugging 3 toddlers plus a baby. However I was thinking if in worst case scenario of drowning, who should I save first. HAHAHA. So in order to prevent that (other than NOT bringing them to swim), I set rules.

1. Do not get out of my side/ sight.
2. Only go for the baby pools if not, one shall forfeit the chance to go swimming ever again and embrace Rule #1
3. If someone is close and made you un-comfy, come back to my side and tell me straight to the face (and point to that someone who made you un-comfy. Human nature to disengage from bad stuff if one can recognise…)
4. 3 of them must stay together within close range and keep a look out for one another otherwise, there won’t be a next time, ever again. This rule facilitate bonding, keeping a lookout for one another and self awareness of the surroundings.
5. And I need to place the barang barang within my sight because I bought cash and phone…

And ta-da, it works until the shower part.

The girls refused to leave and Sayge was all time as she’s feeling the drain and dozed off in the pool. So I did a dare and left the girls at the pool while I went to change Sayge out and changed out of my wet attire.

The issue is how, how to shower and change with a cranky baby in the arm and the 3 girls in the pool without adult supervision.

So this is what I did.

For Sayge and Myself:

1. We showered together despite her cranky screams.
2. Dried her up, wrapped her in the towel while I took off every single piece of clothing of mine (so that it won’t get her wet).
3. Change her into warm clothes with me, being so bare.
4. Use my master hand to carry her and the other to pull up the undies, then shorts.
5. Did a full squat, put Sayge in between my thighs and put a world’s fastest challenge of bra wearing within milliseconds.
6. Repeat the same world’s fastest challenge to pull over my top.
7. Dump the wet clothes into a plastic bag.
8. Ta-da, the deed is done (with a back ache) within 5-8 mins. LOL

And from this I learnt 4 things:

1. Bring a dark color, one piece loose dress in near future.
2. Ensure the bag is a waterproof bag.
3. Take on Yoga during free time.
4. ASK SOMEONE ALONG NEXT TIME.

And where are the girls? Went to play the slides on loop basis and the Lifeguard is such a nice guy to help me oversee-ing them. The showering part for the girls is easier. I just prepare the towels, their bathing necessities and clothes, they will just do whatever it is. And the best plan is the girls can cooperate to shower with Sayge’s timing altogether, because Sharanne can help to carry Sayge but well… Independence is always better than to rely on others. ^^

And during the session, I saw a few of the mothers who just changed right outside the room because they have toddlers who need to be within their sight. And this is why, kudos to mothers. 🙂

After all, it’s all worthwhile to put smiles on the kids’ face. ^^

Gonna end this post with a picture taken by Sharanne, the self-proclaimed photographer/ future Youtuber. :X

Me + Sayge = Happiness 😛

做妈的，果然需要3头6臂。

Appreciate mothers and those who are in service line. 🙂

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Little Bun is OUT.

Finally.

The little bun is out on 1st August and I’m 10 days in my confinement, feeling depressed over everything. I need that rest but I can’t rest and looking at Little Bun, I am motivated to go on stronger and tougher.

I doubted I had the courage to relook into the near future, everything seems so cloudy – I don’t  know how to move on with my career because another side of me wants to witness the growing up of Little Bun and DRMs. Every single job that came in with an attractive offer requires me to travel constantly. Draining up every single dollars and cents for this pregnancy made me feel bad towards DRMs. Sometimes I wonder if my life is really jinxed.

If only life is so perfect that I had a pillar of support, someone whom I can trust wholeheartedly, love wholeheartedly, less argumentative, less irritating and be there for me always. If only there is this person alive.

The husband had been slogging his life away and I really feel bad about it at times but again, BFF told me, it’s his outright duties, responsibilities and role. And there are inner thoughts about other stuff. Hopefully you feel me when I’m at my lowest.

On another hand, I wonder if the Government is serious about helping local enterprise because apparently, it doesn’t feel so. Because I had met up with so many roadblocks during my enterprise journey but I will persevere through. Because hardwork will reap success.

Am blessed to have many friends who are there cheering me on, providing all levels of support and importantly, family who are always there for me.

My MIL cycled all way from her house to my house and cooked for me EVERY SINGLE DAY – where to get this type of MIL? Despite everyone asking me to rest, I guess I got this super jian4 ming4, slogging on my computer away on both enterprises. 🙂

I CAN DO IT.

On contra, I am still exploring options and is attending interviews DURING my confinement. #WHATALIFE

I seriously just want to be grounded back home and look at Little Bun every single day. LOL. Reality is harsh.

一个人养孩子真的很辛苦。各位单亲妈妈/ 爸爸你们辛苦了。Jiayou!

Announcement on Baby No. 4

After strong contemplation and encouragements, I decide to brush up all my courage to announce my pregnancy to the WHOLE WORLD and decide to pen this via here as keepsake >>>

😎😍 [SURPRISE] We are going to get FAR (Do-Re-Mi-Fa if you get this pun) with this announcement.

Do-Re-Mi aka @ongsisters will be welcoming a new sibling into tbe family.

THIS IS GONNA BE A REAL EMOTIONAL POST.

B’cos this pregnancy is a real pain in the ass where there are so many complications involved. Fyi, I DID consider abortion at the very start (do not judge because there are indeed complications that I was torn in between). Thus far, I had ZERO courage to celebrate my pregnancy because I do not know if I can bring this child alive. Imagine this, I announce my pregnancy but sometimes later I need to mourn death. 😭

T1: I puke through every single day in the first trimester to an extend where I got dehydrated and had to do jabs in between weeks. And I lost 5kg due to work stress and all these.

T2 and Forward: Weird cravings that set me thinking out loud. Work is draining me due to high level of stress because of the uncertainty (and yes there could even be a chance that the co might NOT pay for the ML but well…) 😩 Going to MOM wont help and Im not going to comment as its still an unknown.

During these period, I would like to thank my BFF @fishyhui for being there for me, buddy @alicewonderlandjing, #CBFF @conspiracy_of_one and @mojojojotan plus the #teamwoodlands who kept this pregnancy a secret at my order LOL and encourage me all the way till now. Of course, my #FLSclique with sibei chio the chiobu @jtll_ and 天下第一YDK @leroyl + the o-Bye colleagues (including the capable interns) who had fight the war with me and endured all my nonsense, till the very end. And also those who had always been there to hear my damn rants.

❤️ LASTLY MY SOULMATE, MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND EXTENDED FAMILY FOR THE SUPPORT, ADVICES AND SAFEKEEP THIS SURPRISE TILL NOW and those who had lifted me up by dropping motivation as and when I got super down.

I decided to post this now to at least keepsake the memories down the road and I AM GONNA BE A PROUD MAMA OF FOUR KIDDOS AND 2 FURKIDS. Maybe I should just vlog or blog about my life as a mother of 4.

Next up, wanna do a sidebet on gender? 

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I am thankful that I got a fair share of congratulations and some people were just peeved with this fact of Baby No. 4 and started to judge.

Well, my priority still stays as the healthy birth of Baby No. 4 and I couldn’t care much about how people perceive me.

Till date, for Gender Reveal. 🙂

Parenting – Handling Three

From L-R: Currently at 6 (Rayshirl), 8 (Sharanne) and 7 (Andrealynn) years old respectively.

I always get people commenting on how well I handled the kids. To be frank, it really takes a lot of efforts to create this, what I called a “network” especially when the girls are all 11-months old apart.

The most difficult times that I need to struggle through is the times when they are 2, 1 and months old. I felt depressed as each of them had their own feeding schedules and worst still, when they got sick together. But thank god for my supermom who helped me took care of these three hyper bunnies while I went back to work.

Also, family support is a pre-requisite to have more kids (Government can only help to pave ways but not much.). For my case, I am lucky to have a strong support of siblings, in-laws, extended family who are always there to assist when required. This network paved the ways and also demonstrated to the girls since young of a strong family nucleus and bonds. Also, they learnt the art of sharing and superb articulation.

As they grew older, things get easier.

I used to carry an Alibaba bag which could be equivalent to an army field pack. All the diapers, extra clothings (and my clothings), milk bottles for each individuals are packed respectively into this Alibaba bag. However as the youngest one becomes diaper-free, I just need to “force” everyone to carry their own water bottles and ta-da off I go.

Going out with these 3 hyperbunnies used to take alot of skill but I managed to create a buddy system/ network so that these three will take each of one another. The elder one will always be tagged to the youngest one and the middle child gets to pick who she wants to be with.

This instills:

• Responsibility and Leadership Navigation Skills in the Eldest.
• No Middle Child Syndrome for the Middle.
• Learn how to respect and a role model to look up for the Youngest.
• Looking out for one another and sharing is caring concept.
• Communication skills and articulation.

Each of them will have one role when we are doing the activities/ sessions:

• Eldest does the Logistics
• Middle does the Planning
• Youngest does the Execution

In terms of groceries shopping; Sharanne will pick up the trolley or basket. Andrealynn will command on what to purchase and Youngest does the pick up of the items. Sometimes, they switched the roles among themselves.

And indeed, time flies and they are now at 8, 7 and 6 years old. It just went in a blink of an eye for their childhood. And sadly, I was not with them during the majority of the childhood due to work but well, for the better of their future. ^^

Roses are Red and…

Violets are blue.

Suddenly, came a small voice behind me that says, “Eh mama, ain’t violet, purple? It ain’t blue yo.”

That is my elder girl, Sharanne. Haha.

Sometimes parenting gives me another broader insights, that embrace love and makes one a greater person. Also, sometimes, kids say the darnest things. I listed two examples here:

Conversation about being a Chihuahua

Background: As a Chinese I believed in karma and reincarnations. And part of the religious teaching says that souls reborn as animals are due to past misdeeds (karma).  And so, I bought Matcha (my Chihuahua) back to my in-law to pray at the house temple to usher into the new year.

Me: Matcha, come over here and sit still. Pray if you can as it gives you merits if you cultivate the habit of listening to the  Buddha’s religious teaching, it will might make u a human again. You are a dog now due to your past misdeed.

Sharanne: Mama, no, Matcha might not be a dog because of the past misdeeds. She could be like you…

Me: Me?

Sharanne: Yes, she might have wish to become a Chihuahua like you did*. And because she attain merits and was a good girl then, the Genie granted her wish.

*Previously, I was stressed up at work till I casually spoke about being a Chihuahua like Matcha in my next lifetime, free from worries and get pampered like a Princess, ha~

Bottom line: Kids take YOUR words for real. Speak wise.

Conversation about One’s Inspirations

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Sharanne: *Take deep breath* Dancer because I love dancing and I want to be real good in something I want to do.

Me: Ok, that’s good but still need to get a minimum education in order to survive yeah. *Sharanne nods and floats away from this dangerous topic.*

Andrealynn: I want to be a Doctor or Nurse, to help people and save lives.

Me: That’s good. I believe you can do it if you study hard and focus on your end goal.

Rayshirl: I want to be a Dog.

Me: Oh doc ah? That’s good.

Rayshirl: Nooooooo. Dog. A dog.

Me: Doc… Doctor? Good good.

Rayshirl: NO. I WANT TO  BE A DOG. Woof woof dog.

Me: …………. You can’t be a dog.

Rayshirl: But Matcha is a dog.

Me: …………………………………….

Andrealynn: Mama, if Rayshirl is a dog. I want to be a cat when I grow up.

Me: …………………………………………. *silence entered the darkest night*

ONE WEEK LATER,

Rayshirl: Mama, I realized I don’t want to be a dog anymore.

Me: Good… so what’s your new goal?

Rayshirl: I want to be a boy.

Me: …………………………… *speechless*

JUST LAST WEEK,

Rayshirl: Mama, I don’t want to be a boy also. I changed my mind.

Me: *wonder why she is so fickle minded but still* Ohhhh okay, so you are back to a  girl?

Rayshirl: No, I already know what I want to be.

Me: Ok… Now what?

Rayshirl: I want to be a Terrex.

Me: T-REX?

Rayshirl: No, TER-REX. Ah yi (aka her aunt aka my sister) says TERREX very powerful.

Me: But it’s a machine.

Rayshirl: Not a type of Dinosaur meh?

Me: NO. *shows her a picture of Terrex*

Rayshirl: No. This is not Terrex. Ahgong (aka my father aka her grandpa) shows me this before and it’s called a Tanker or Tank.

Me: …………………………………………………………

 

I guess, I will miss the girls when I relocate for work.