Recently, Shar-B started to request to go out with her BFFs and being a paranoid mum, I was soooooo fearful that she met nasty people or perhaps a paedo preying on people. However as part of growing up, I knew
And there’s nothing foolproof, I taught her this “Plan X” thing which I feel it’s useful to share with the parents out here. I chanced upon this amongst a Facebook post in the past.
Plan X – To get out of an uncomfortable situation with no questions asked.
I told Shar-B if she needs to get out of an uncomfortable situation with no questions asked, all she needs was to message me a “X” and I will call her immediately. If she didn’t pick up, I will type her a series of standard answers.
Shar-B: X
Mummy: Hey Shar, where are you? I need you to come back to handle an emergency situation. Where are you now? I will come pick you in a few minutes.
And if anyone were to ask, Shar-B would have said, “I’m not sure why but my mum wants me back now.”
I guessed being a parent – the act of worrying will last me till the end of the lifetime. I will not give chance to anyone to abuse/ make use of my daughters. I do not raise them up as such.
And some, even went to the extent to commit suicide over bad grades and critics.
The conversation with the girls especially Sharanne set me thinking about the expectations from (1) Parents, (2) Childrens/ Peer Pressure and lastly (3) the Society.
From Kids’ perspective, they only see as Exams, Stress, Breakdown.
On a legit note, the girls always shared with me that the majority of their friends had super packed schedule for the week and near to 90% are focusing on academics, some took up the music schedules as parents assume that it was a form of de-stress and based on the instrument that the parents like instead of what the kids love. And the reason?
They are too young to make decision so as Parent we have the responsibility to plan out for them.
Precisely. And that’s also the point that they are young that they might not be capable enough to handle the stress and negative emotions.
What we see from the external is different from what’s within.
So it set me thinking, what went wrong and what could we (as Parents) have done better?
I have friends who are on #TeamTuitionIsLife where Tuition plays a major big role in their lives and its everything they that do. The removal of tuition will make them “handicap” and unable to move on positively. Kids of #TeamTuitionIsLife normally have no much choices on their own and would need to obey the lesson plans crafted out by their parents, for their own good. Sounds familiar? Out of 10 friends, 8 of them fall into this category.
The remaining minority belongs to the #ChillMom where everything is possible and I belong to this category. Not even a single class of tuition/ enrichment and every weekend is just time spent with the kids.
I personally think that sometimes some kids will need enrichment to facilitate and motivate learning but don’t overdo it. Find a right balance. Keep the signs in check. Mentality is important for parents. Don’t yell and threaten on bad grades. It ain’t everything.
Kids felt more stress when parents compare as the (2) Peer Pressure is real. And just to be honest that kids are more sheltered as per compare to the kids 20-30 years ago. The latte developed grit to deal with things while kids of today need some parental grips, making them more vulnerable to critics.
I guess I focus on the different aspects – Soft Skills where I call it the EQ instead of IQ (Academics). The girls had been taught, social media skills, entrepreneurship, customer relations, product different and etc… Importantly I feel that parents need to teach kids how to manage failure or in nicer words, I call it, managing the not ideal situation. That’s why I curatedLittle Towkay Entrepreneurs Bootcamp for the kids, in order to give them a more holistic experience.
Acceptance is important. I do not have the greatest mind and will never do well in Maths in this lifetime. What I can do is to accept this weakness and hunt for my strengths. I can’t possibly force myself to be a Mathematician. Grades are not everything.
That’s why if I believed my kids can do well in Arts. The focus and the shift will be towards the SOTA direction. Afterall, who’s gonna teach the future generations the arty farty stuff if EVERYONE focus on the academics? Who’s going to teach ballet when everyone graduated as a lawyer or doctor? 😉
There’s always a Master in every profession, tio bo?
Afterall, I would rather spend the time and money spent on something that they love, so that Iwould get a positive ROI. Otherwise I’ll be waste my time and money on something that they do not even like/ love a teeny tiny bit and worst, do not learn from or make no change to one’s life.
Having 4 kiddos and to balance on that economy of scale is hard. Need to maximize the assets so I would emphasize on:
Getting them to learn something that they love.
Tell them Academics is not everything. Attitude is.
Accepting failures (and not scoring more than 85/ 100 is ok)
Enjoy their childhood. 🙂
Personally, this is what I would do and remind myself to do better than to surrender and join the #TeamTuitionIsLife.
No doubts, Society play a part too. We need more parents like this to overturn the mentality that focus strongly on grades and adapt more towards character development.
To parents out there, don’t let anything or anyone guilt trip you. The most important thing that you can provide to the kids is your time and love. 😊
Parents gonna walk the talk before a change is well-noted within the education system and system takes time.
Hey mama! 🙂
Hit me up if you are keen in the Children Bootcamp.
The past week had been challenging, so is the trade markets. Oil prices, commodities, even the protest in Hongkong had created an impactful shift across all markets and including myself.
HA. Because currently, I’m in a role where I faced more rejections than anything else so I decide to YOLO once and went for a social experiment on how people reacted to me and whether anyone will cast judgment without knowing me as a person but just by my outlooks especially with my…
First Tattoo. Yes, I know. “Imprints” get judge more often.
Followed by, the change of my hair color, not to a monotone but a unicorn tone. As this totally fits into my bill of fickle-mindedness because right after I dyed it at my trusted salon, J2 Hair Salon, I just realised that whichever color I feel like showcasing more, all I need was to change my hair parting in accordance.
Left (2016)/ Right (NOW)
Attitude. Adopted a heck care attitude because I just want to find out if gracious people tend to be bullied. And I wondered if I ever get beaten up if I keep on tsk-ing people (Check out how to tsk people correctly with strong support from CPF. Just joking.)
To be honest, I’m quite fearful that my parents/ colleagues/ bosses cannot accept the change as I did not inform them in advance/ prior to this.
Random note; the girls love it. They love anything unicorn. HAHA.
So during the weekends, when I bought the girls out, everyone seems to give a disapproving look on the streets and I even overheard a comment,
“See, girl. You must study hard if not next time, you will need to be food delivery rider and bring kids along for work.”
O-M-G. I carried a Grabfood paperbag with my kiddos waterbottles in it doesn’t meant I worked for them leh. I just cannot find a bag to contain their items when I’m rushing out. AND SOMEMORE, I graduated with a degree and alot of self-improvement certificates that helped me excel in my career. -_-
Best part, my mum did not even notice it when I was working around with my stuff when I’m back at my maiden home, for hours. Perhaps, tying up my hair helps.
Actually, the real challenge in me is actually how my bosses, colleagues, business partners whom I will meet, will react to my new looks.
So I reported for work on Monday. Here’re the results:
My boss did not comment but I feel he’s ok with this. [Boss ah, let me know if you are not ok hor?] Updated as of 16 Sept, my direct supervisor told me the CE disapprove of the colors. LOL so I dyed back on 17 Sept.
Colleagues were shocked and my Teamies gave me a look of affirmation then disapproval.
The guys who’ve worked at a different level and whom I’ve always spoken to in the lift saw me during lunch and thought I was “another” person. They couldn’t even recognize me.
My friends saw my social media postings, gave me thumbs up instead of thumbs down.
Ok lah, to be honest, I’m not sure if they would have discussed this behind my back though but I couldn’t care less. :]
And the real deal came when I am running late for a meeting at Ayer Rajah. I was changing my route to cross over from East-West line to the Circle line at Buona Vista MRT and I heard a man standing in the middle of the pavements asking into the thin air if anyone can direct him to the East-West line (towards Jurong direction). I then realized he seems to have a partial visual impairment. Many of the people of different diversity and dress codes, walked past him without helping him.
Despite telling myself — to adopt a heck care attitude mentioned earlier, it just couldn’t get through me. Yes, I might be late if I lend a helping hand but well, that few minutes might matter more to him than to me. Imagine, he lost his footings and…
So I walked up and approached him and directed him to the right direction. Realising that the lift is a long walk from where he is, I asked him if it’s ok for me to lead him up to the platforms via escalator. He was apologizing that he might delayed my time and etc. I told him I’m free and asked him to hold onto my elbow.
Thank god for my stint in PA that exposed me to various techniques to deal from the physically challenged peeps.
In any case; to guide a blind/ partially sighted person; one would need to follow these steps (Courtesy from RNIB and Webeye):
Walk up, introduce yourself and speak to the person whom you are going to guide him.
Offer the person your services and ask him/ her on how would they prefer to be guided.
The person being guided should lightly grasp the guide’s arm, thumb out, just above their elbow. Right elbow of the guide will be grasped by the left hand of the person being guided, and vice versa. The left elbow of the guide will be grasped by the right hand of the person being guided. For children, have them grasp your wrist or hold your hand. When an individual acts as a human guide, they should walk a half step ahead of the person they are guiding.
Tell them about every steps/ curbs/ stairs as you approach them. Tell them to step “up” or “down”.
Mention any potential hazards/ narrow corridors that lie ahead and say where they are.
If you are guiding someone into a seat, place their hand on the back of the seat before they sit down, so they can orientate themselves.
Don’t walk away without saying you are leaving.
So that minute of help resulted in me knowing that he had his vision partially lost due to genetics. Despite the fact, he’s still making efforts to look for jobs and being mobile to stay positive.
When we parted at the platform, I was asking the few of the people standing on the platforms to look out for him and directed him to the right station (and yes, I got a few disapproving looks from some onlookers due to my tattoo and hair while I help the guy). Thank god for a couple of kind souls and he wished me well in my life.
Conversations like this pulled me up from all the rejections I had to face during my course of work (as they are downright demotivating) and I felt even more determined to help the community via Piggyback.
And thus I instill a habit for myself and the girls while decluttering those that I do not need. I will either post via Blessing for Low Incomes-Sg, Yishun Blessing group and my own BTO closed Facebook group to ask if anyone closeby would need the things that I no longer need.
To my surprise, a lot of my so-called stuff became prized processions of their new owners.
And this boils down to…
“When you judge others. You do not define them. You define yourself. No one had ever walk the same path as you. Experiences made current choices. Future choices are based on your aptitude towards life and attitude on how you approach it.”
Like what my mum always say, “When you are pointing 1 finger at others, you are pointing 4 at yourself.”
Brace on people and do lending a helping hand when possible because you’ll never know when you will need others to lend you theirs.
STEM is in trend but not all embraced the “orthodox” method of learning.
Science, Technology, Engineering & Math (STEM) classes have been widely introduced in U.S and the Western Countries where kids as young as 5 years old learned about the basic concept of STEM. However I feel that Asian parents still placed a stronger focus on the traditional academics and neglected the need for STEM despite the rising trends for Technologies and the worldwide storage for STEM talents especially in the areas of tech.
I chanced upon the article that in Singapore, the Government is adopting a proactive approach to introduce basic coding classes for the Upper Primary from Year 2020 as part of the education curriculum. It used to be optional but now compulsory. I guessed, the need to train the future industry talents to curb the manpower and talent shortage is indeed a pressing issue.
And I’m definitely a fan of anything that’s NOT academic. Learning should be fun especially when one is younger. One can afford to make more (and perhaps more expensive) mistakes and instead of being heavily pressured to chase the papers.
I kind of reminisced the days where I would figure how to “crash” my mum’s kitchen by cooking real food and having fun with my friends spending real time together instead of now, my kids favoured over Youtube “Toys Reviews”, check out what the rest are up to via Youtube or social media. Kids being kids, we should all learn by doing not just by seeing and etc.
Hopefully as the generations evolved, Governments will take a stronger approach in granting a more holistic education and it’s a good start now as I see more and more talents in the “cold” industry such as Arts, Music and Theatre Plays.
Thus I ponder, will parents be keen to explore workshops with kids at their early fundamentals years? Leave me a comment so that’s I’ll know.
Sometimes I think my guts are way bigger than what my mind, body and soul can contain but I guess, at extreme times, it will be a desperate call for everything else when things get… situational.
Over the weekends, the girls went for a stay over at D’Resort to celebrate joy and (my SIL) Joyce’s birthday (no pun intended). So as every kids would asked – Is there bathtub? Is there swimming pool? Is there…
And sometimes how I wished my answer is a flat, NO. But Google being the evil babysitter answered to all of the girls’ questions.
Well done, Google. Well done, Technology.
So the next question is – Can YOU bring me to swim? Can YOU bring me to… Horrifying indeed. Sometimes these Q&As turn me off to an extend where I wanted to just stuff everyone back to my womb. I kid you not.
And it happened when, no one is free to bring them and the only person available is ME. And swimming tends to be a hazardous activity down my list of “DO NOT”(s) especially the kids are the adventurous ones. And girls being girls, I always had this constant fear that bad stuff will happened to them (Read up those molest cases and etc…)… So the first tactic that I always pulled off?
Clear Flat Rejections – Sorry, menses is here. LOL. (But having said that, the girls went to the extreme (and extra mile) to check me out and realised I lied. Damn.)
So when Tactic #1 failed and if the request is still within one’s ability, just go for it lor.
And to ensure that the guilt trip trap will be a success. The girls emphasized on their “last” swimming experience and the lack of childhood physically exhaustive activities (because I was always the safe-mama who won’t appreciate rides…)
And ta-da here we go! A mother of 4 lugging 3 toddlers plus a baby. However I was thinking if in worst case scenario of drowning, who should I save first. HAHAHA. So in order to prevent that (other than NOT bringing them to swim), I set rules.
Do not get out of my side/ sight.
Only go for the baby pools if not, one shall forfeit the chance to go swimming ever again and embrace Rule #1
If someone is close and made you un-comfy, come back to my side and tell me straight to the face (and point to that someone who made you un-comfy. Human nature to disengage from bad stuff if one can recognise…)
3 of them must stay together within close range and keep a look out for one another otherwise, there won’t be a next time, ever again. This rule facilitate bonding, keeping a lookout for one another and self awareness of the surroundings.
And I need to place the barang barang within my sight because I bought cash and phone…
And ta-da, it works until the shower part.
The girls refused to leave and Sayge was all time as she’s feeling the drain and dozed off in the pool. So I did a dare and left the girls at the pool while I went to change Sayge out and changed out of my wet attire.
The issue is how, how to shower and change with a cranky baby in the arm and the 3 girls in the pool without adult supervision.
So this is what I did.
For Sayge and Myself:
We showered together despite her cranky screams.
Dried her up, wrapped her in the towel while I took off every single piece of clothing of mine (so that it won’t get her wet).
Change her into warm clothes with me, being so bare.
Use my master hand to carry her and the other to pull up the undies, then shorts.
Did a full squat, put Sayge in between my thighs and put a world’s fastest challenge of bra wearing within milliseconds.
Repeat the same world’s fastest challenge to pull over my top.
Dump the wet clothes into a plastic bag.
Ta-da, the deed is done (with a back ache) within 5-8 mins. LOL
And from this I learnt 4 things:
Bring a dark color, one piece loose dress in near future.
Ensure the bag is a waterproof bag.
Take on Yoga during free time.
ASK SOMEONE ALONG NEXT TIME.
And where are the girls? Went to play the slides on loop basis and the Lifeguard is such a nice guy to help me oversee-ing them. The showering part for the girls is easier. I just prepare the towels, their bathing necessities and clothes, they will just do whatever it is. And the best plan is the girls can cooperate to shower with Sayge’s timing altogether, because Sharanne can help to carry Sayge but well… Independence is always better than to rely on others. ^^
And during the session, I saw a few of the mothers who just changed right outside the room because they have toddlers who need to be within their sight. And this is why, kudos to mothers. 🙂
After all, it’s all worthwhile to put smiles on the kids’ face. ^^
Gonna end this post with a picture taken by Sharanne, the self-proclaimed photographer/ future Youtuber. :X
Me + Sayge = Happiness 😛
做妈的，果然需要3头6臂。
Appreciate mothers and those who are in service line. 🙂
2 Months Down and seems like I’ve not achieve anything. I guess I need a Marie Kondo weekly to declutter my thoughts, decide to plan down what I need to do by end of this year:
Launch Piggyback
Followup on Scentimental
Clear off my bad debts. I will speak about this soon.
Aim to sell $100,000 worth of items via E-Commerce
Create a passive income wallet through positive and stressfree channels.
Create a Parenting Blog. 😛
Seems like I should be looking out at these 6, firmly and with focus and I calculated that if I need 1 million to retire by age 40. I would need to save approx $10k per month.
Found this back in my archives in the Year 2014. Please note, this was written in the Year 2014 when I am just 25 years old!
From a point of view of a young (working) mum.
Please note that this would be a lengthy post. 🙂
And this is my story…
I was pregnant with my elder girl, Sharanne when I am still doing my part-time degree over at Kaplan Singapore. I guessed I did brave through 2 semesters with her in my tummy and the best part, my last paper was just a week before my expected delivery date (August 2010). So I had her through an emergency c-section on 19 August 2010 when I am just 21 years old.
Everything from pregnancy was a trauma for me as I didn’t know what to do being a new mum and everything was like, wow, new to me. I need to get to know and pick up new things such as lingoes and terms like to latch on, burping postures and etc… Although it was “scary” in a way, I am thankful to have my mum, my extended family (in-laws) and experienced mummy friends who guided me through the days.
Sharanne at Minutes OldSharanne at Few Hours Old
I remember the instance when I had to discharge from the hospital without Sharanne as she had serious jaundice issue. That moment, I teared like nobody because I am so scared to lose her and I didn’t know what the hell the Doctor is trying to tell me. But well, everything went on fine until…
At that point in time, I was still breast feeding Sharanne and my period didn’t come at all which both my Gynae and my friends told me that it’s quite normal. I didn’t pay attention to it so I live my life as per normal. My days are just like spending with Sharanne and looking out for jobs (as I had finally graduated). I was offered a position at a statutory board after a few months of hardwork but I told them, I can only start work in January 2011 as I want to spend more time with Sharanne.
Sharanne at Months Old.
I took a short celebratory trip in late 2010 to Taiwan – to celebrate my birthday, my graduation, my new role in life as a mum, my new found job. However, I felt nauseous and super unwell throughout the whole trip. Somehow or rather my instinct told me… I “might” be pregnant. And I bought a pregnancy test kit when I am during my last few days back in Taiwan. Guess what, I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN.
When I returned to Singapore, I quickly made an appointment with my Gynae. He confirmed on my pregnancy and checked that the EDD was in Early July. In other words, I am pregnant with my 2nd one… when Sharanne is roughly two months old. My Gynae told me that it’s ok and due to my age, the womb recovered quite fast and thus I am able to get pregnant within a short span.
At that point in time, I wasn’t sure if I can cope with 2 kids of such a close age gap and I heard a lot from my friends that Sharanne might not understand and might just throw a tantrum by seeking MORE attention which literally freaks me out but well, I LOVE KIDS! 🙂 And also, I was shattered because I just secured a job and now, who will employed someone who is soon to be going on maternity leave.
But to my astonishment, my potential employer still accept me despite my pregnancy as I think it’s fair for me to voice it out to them. Till date, I am really thankful for their kindness as it’s not easy to find such a good employer to start with.
Random Inserts: As I go along, I will list down various Pro(s) & Con(s). For easy references, I will highlight the Pros and Cons.
Well well, for as a start, the Pro that I have is (it works be it whether I have 2 or 3 kids):
PRO – Things can be passed down:
I was so happy when my Gynae told me that I’m expecting a girl. Because when I’m pregnant with Sharanne, I bought a lot of clothes and I didn’t know that babies outgrown the clothes, THIS fast. So I was thinking that Baby No. 2 can just hop on to whatever I bought for Sharanne as majority of the clothes were brand new and unworn. (Sharanne is a fat baby. LOL)
Another PRO would be:
I know what I will be going through.
I would stare blankly when I hear the various lingoes. I know what to expect and won’t be as fearful as per compared to my first pregnancy. I know what to expect and what’s the rough outcome…
The Cons:
Difficulties in Handling No 1.
As Sharanne is still a baby and by the time I was 6 month pregnancy with Andrealynn (the name of Baby No 2) when the tummy shown, I had a hard time in bathing Sharanne and carry her. I will get tired easily and hardly had the breath to play with Sharanne especially when I had started my full time job when I am just 3 months pregnant. My life then > Job, Sharanne, Visit Gynae, Rest.
Fast forward >>> I gave birth via C-sect on 8th July 2011 to Andrealynn.
Andrealynn at BirthAndrealynn at Few Hours Old
That was the best moment of my life as its my first witnessing the birth of my child. Sharanne was an emergency so I had to go through full body anesthesia. But Andrealynn’s was a half body anesthesia. 🙂
I had the first tears of joy. And life is definitely beautiful with the kids.
As Sharanne was nearing a year old then. She was totally at lost with the new addition. And after a few rounds of interaction, I could say… they will the best playmates in life, forever.
My friend told me do buy a toy each representing each of them and do an exchange, like an acceptance of one another and they will be the best friends of life. I did and not sure if it did attribute to the fact of acceptance.
Well well, having 2 kids of an young age is an issue when especially Sharanne is still taking her baby steps and learning to walk.
CON – Exhaustive in terms of Mental, Physical and Psychological.
Mental – As I need to keep an eye on one another and at times I need to break Sharanne’s fall when she’s learning to walk and suddenly, Andrealynn wails. Physical – As I need to wake up at weird hours to cuddle and feed either one of them and through many intervals and at times, I need to hug/ carry and show physical affection to Sharanne to ensure her that she’s still has my attention. Psychological – If the other half is helping. Good for one. If not, one might just have depressing thoughts. So guys, always be there and help out your wives.
But on another side,
PRO – AGILITY SKILLS AND TIME MANAGEMENT = MULTI TASKING SKILLS
I get to improve on my agility skills in managing the two babies. Make it three if you consider the husband as one. And also time management made me learnt to multi task as sometimes their feeding schedules will clash and I need to feed 2 babies at 1 go if not I will get either one wailing or in worst case scenarios, 2 wailing babies. And the above two constitutes to me, being a multi tasker. I can just feed milk via bottle and coax the other one to sleep via cuddle. Trust me, this gets better when I had 3 girls.
The TWO of them. Andrealynn and Sharanne.
I must say that it’s important to coach the elder one well. Because she will be the role model for her sister to follow. Afterall it’s a monkey see, monkey do kind of thing. Thus I begin to implant expectations on Sharanne and slowly she seems to be a “bossy” yet caring sister for Andrealynn and of course, Rayshirl in times to come.
1 of the PROs of having two kids is:
They won’t feel alone and there’s always a playmate. It will excel in their character development as they will understand the term: Sharing is Caring.
Best of all, when Andrealynn is 2 months old, I got the astonishing surprise… I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN, FOR THE THIRD TIME in the row. Even my Gynae was amazed with me and told me that for C-sect birth, I can only be cut up to 4 times. And the EDD was in Late June which meant it was too, roughly 11 months apart. Well, I didn’t expect it and it came as a surprise to everyone. A god’s gift always bring wonders and the best.
At that point in time, I was thinking, thank god that I had a stable job if not it will be financially taxing.
And being super seasoned with the whole process, the pregnancy and everything was a breeze. I always shared with Sharanne and Andrealynn that I am expecting another cutiepie in my tummy and getting them involved in a way of or another through the pregnancy process.
Fast forward, again >>> I had my third bundle of joy, Rayshirl through C-sect on 26 June 2012.
Rayshirl’s birth was a memorable one as I delayed my labour when Alex’s Grandma passed away on 17 June 2012. I pushed it from the initial 20th to 26th and thank god, Rayshirl is a good girl that she didn’t come out earlier.
Rayshirl at Few Hours Old
The cutest part of Rayshirl’s birth was that before I packed up to the hospital for the delivery. Sharanne being the big sister remembered about the toy exchange which I conduct for her and Andrealynn. As I had no time to shop for any, she stuffed her favourite toy into my delivery bag and told me that it’s for the soon to be born sister and Andrealynn followed suit when she saw Sharanne doing it.
I was super touched by it because being at a young age, they can give up their toys to someone dear. And it brings me to understand that why can’t us, adults learn such simple lessons from the kids? The kids can walk the talk at this age… Why can’t we when as adults, we had greater understanding as per compared to them.
And thank god, Sharanne and Andrealynn were stunned to see Rayshirl for the first time and again, after a few rounds of interactions, they accepted each other’s presence.
PRO – Learning life lessons from the kids.
At times, certain things that they did, bring out the basic of life such as, happiness. The above shows me a lesson that being happy is not what you possess physically.
And having three kids, also meant that I am spoilt for choices and sharing will enables them to earn more choices. Such as, I can buy 3 different flavours of ice-creams and if they share the food, they will get to eat 3 different flavours instead of one. It also help in terms of balancing out the economy of scale. I guessed this will help a lot when I enrolled them for music lessons.
Another PRO would also be: There will be a mediator/ neutral stand in times of disagreement. Because when 2 kids fell out with one another, it would be the adult who will mediate between the two. But in this case, there will be one soft-hearted who will stand in to either apologize or to neutralize the tension.
However, the con might just be, financially taxing as you can now no longer buy one but need to buy three items instead. And having three it meant, split of attention. 2 kids are easily to manage as the husband and I just had to manage one respectively but now, with 3, it tends to be challenging especially when I’m bringing 3 of them out together but after awhile, I’m getting a hang of it. Oh yes, the placement child seats in the car is also a challenge. Three of them will take up the whole row of my back seat and I guess I need a MPV soon! And as parent, you need to learn to balance out the attention between the 3. Having one kid makes u focus ALL of your attention but having you… One needs to ensure that they get equal attention and minimize jealousy issues.
Another issue is that, I needs to get a bigger bag because having to pack for 3 will at times made me bring a weekend bag out. LOL. #findingexcusetoshopasalways
Things had always get better as they grew such as now as three of them can walk on their own, it’s not as physically exhaustive. On the positive note, I just need to “suffer” now but enjoy later. Talking about sufferings, another challenge is that, it’s like “end of world” when they fall sick together. It will be super duper… exhaustive in whatever ways. Burnt out is the word.
But the good thing about the young mum is that, I had energy to give the best in whatever ways and to play and run around with them. Hahaha I guess they had the hyper genes like me! 🙂
But I just want to say, be it whether you have one, two or three kids. Parenthood is a journey whereby it widen the horizons. I learnt a lot from the kids and it really opened up my mentality (to keep an open mind and accept changes and etc…) and knowing what love is, at the bigger picture. Despite whatever it is, it’s (Parenthood) not an easy journey and congrats to all, who picked this path.
And it’s not always that people are understanding towards your commitments. Friends might just walk out of your life when they don’t see your commitment to “go on a shopping trip with them” and etc… Although having kids might be seems as equivalent to having lesser time for other things/ people.
Trust me, surprises and daily life lessons will enrich one’s life fully and made one a stronger person (in every single terms such as mentality, physically and psychological) as it had enriched mine and shaped a better character development for myself thus I would like to say that having them are the best decisions I ever made thus far. 🙂
The Chubby Chubs Trio at a Zoo Outing in May 2014.
Having three young kids back home is definitely not an easy feat. With this post, I would like to thank everyone especially my mum, my grandma, my family, my extended family (in-law’s) in rendering their assistance to assist me in times of need. Also to my employer and colleagues who are understanding enough. Also to my soulmates (aka real friends) who understand my commitments. And thank you to my 3 girls who are considerably well behaved and especially to Sharanne who did her part as the Big Sister in looking after the younger ones.
And a pat on the shoulder of every parent. Cheers to Parenthood. 🙂
And to all parents, please take care of your health especially for mummies, for consecutive births, do not be stubborn and must take super extra good care as it’s tolling the body. LOL.
At 25+ years old, I’m proud to say, I am mother of three kids.
I just want to say thank you to the medical team over at Thomson Medical Centre and of course, my Gynaecologist, Dr Lawrence Ang, who’s currently located in Sembawang. 🙂
Update as of the Year 2019 – Maybe I should flip through my archives and repost those archives and do a refresh update on how to cope with 4 girls. LOL.
From L-R: Currently at 6 (Rayshirl), 8 (Sharanne) and 7 (Andrealynn) years old respectively.
I always get people commenting on how well I handled the kids. To be frank, it really takes a lot of efforts to create this, what I called a “network” especially when the girls are all 11-months old apart.
The most difficult times that I need to struggle through is the times when they are 2, 1 and months old. I felt depressed as each of them had their own feeding schedules and worst still, when they got sick together. But thank god for my supermom who helped me took care of these three hyper bunnies while I went back to work.
Also, family support is a pre-requisite to have more kids (Government can only help to pave ways but not much.). For my case, I am lucky to have a strong support of siblings, in-laws, extended family who are always there to assist when required. This network paved the ways and also demonstrated to the girls since young of a strong family nucleus and bonds. Also, they learnt the art of sharing and superb articulation.
As they grew older, things get easier.
I used to carry an Alibaba bag which could be equivalent to an army field pack. All the diapers, extra clothings (and my clothings), milk bottles for each individuals are packed respectively into this Alibaba bag. However as the youngest one becomes diaper-free, I just need to “force” everyone to carry their own water bottles and ta-da off I go.
Going out with these 3 hyperbunnies used to take alot of skill but I managed to create a buddy system/ network so that these three will take each of one another. The elder one will always be tagged to the youngest one and the middle child gets to pick who she wants to be with.
This instills:
Responsibility and Leadership Navigation Skills in the Eldest.
No Middle Child Syndrome for the Middle.
Learn how to respect and a role model to look up for the Youngest.
Looking out for one another and sharing is caring concept.
Communication skills and articulation.
Each of them will have one role when we are doing the activities/ sessions:
Eldest does the Logistics
Middle does the Planning
Youngest does the Execution
In terms of groceries shopping; Sharanne will pick up the trolley or basket. Andrealynn will command on what to purchase and Youngest does the pick up of the items. Sometimes, they switched the roles among themselves.
And indeed, time flies and they are now at 8, 7 and 6 years old. It just went in a blink of an eye for their childhood. And sadly, I was not with them during the majority of the childhood due to work but well, for the better of their future. ^^
Suddenly, came a small voice behind me that says, “Eh mama, ain’t violet, purple? It ain’t blue yo.”
That is my elder girl, Sharanne. Haha.
Sometimes parenting gives me another broader insights, that embrace love and makes one a greater person. Also, sometimes, kids say the darnest things. I listed two examples here:
Conversation about being a Chihuahua
Background: As a Chinese I believed in karma and reincarnations. And part of the religious teaching says that souls reborn as animals are due to past misdeeds (karma). And so, I bought Matcha (my Chihuahua) back to my in-law to pray at the house temple to usher into the new year.
Me: Matcha, come over here and sit still. Pray if you can as it gives you merits if you cultivate the habit of listening to the Buddha’s religious teaching, it will might make u a human again. You are a dog now due to your past misdeed.
Sharanne: Mama, no, Matcha might not be a dog because of the past misdeeds. She could be like you…
Me: Me?
Sharanne: Yes, she might have wish to become a Chihuahua like you did*. And because she attain merits and was a good girl then, the Genie granted her wish.
*Previously, I was stressed up at work till I casually spoke about being a Chihuahua like Matcha in my next lifetime, free from worries and get pampered like a Princess, ha~
Bottom line: Kids take YOUR words for real. Speak wise.
Conversation about One’s Inspirations
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Sharanne: *Take deep breath* Dancer because I love dancing and I want to be real good in something I want to do.
Me: Ok, that’s good but still need to get a minimum education in order to survive yeah. *Sharanne nods and floats away from this dangerous topic.*
Andrealynn: I want to be a Doctor or Nurse, to help people and save lives.
Me: That’s good. I believe you can do it if you study hard and focus on your end goal.
Rayshirl: I want to be a Dog.
Me: Oh doc ah? That’s good.
Rayshirl: Nooooooo. Dog. A dog.
Me: Doc… Doctor? Good good.
Rayshirl: NO. I WANT TO BE A DOG. Woof woof dog.
Me: …………. You can’t be a dog.
Rayshirl: But Matcha is a dog.
Me: …………………………………….
Andrealynn: Mama, if Rayshirl is a dog. I want to be a cat when I grow up.
Me: …………………………………………. *silence entered the darkest night*
ONE WEEK LATER,
Rayshirl: Mama, I realized I don’t want to be a dog anymore.
Me: Good… so what’s your new goal?
Rayshirl: I want to be a boy.
Me: …………………………… *speechless*
JUST LAST WEEK,
Rayshirl: Mama, I don’t want to be a boy also. I changed my mind.
Me: *wonder why she is so fickle minded but still* Ohhhh okay, so you are back to a girl?
Rayshirl: No, I already know what I want to be.
Me: Ok… Now what?
Rayshirl: I want to be a Terrex.
Me: T-REX?
Rayshirl: No, TER-REX. Ah yi (aka her aunt aka my sister) says TERREX very powerful.
Me: But it’s a machine.
Rayshirl: Not a type of Dinosaur meh?
Me: NO. *shows her a picture of Terrex*
Rayshirl: No. This is not Terrex. Ahgong (aka my father aka her grandpa) shows me this before and it’s called a Tanker or Tank.
Me: …………………………………………………………
I guess, I will miss the girls when I relocate for work.
WILLYNN (@hueyytingg) 