I kind of forget that this is my all-time favourite during confinement and decide to pen it down in case I can use this for who-and-who’s confinement. Afterall, sharing is caring.
注: 请用 <<泡参>> instead of 人参 as 人参 will reduce milk supply if you happen to breastfeed.
Ingredients:
1 x Ginger
1 x Bottle of North American Ginseng
1 x Bag of 2.5kg of Brown Rice
Note:
You can get the North American Ginseng from Hock Hua Group that cost $20.00 for one small bottle. Normally I use up half bottle of the North American Ginseng for half packet of the 2.5kg Brown Rice. And also, you can use more Ginger(s) if you like some “spicy-ness” in the drink.
Steps:
1. Pour out half packet of the Brown Rice from the 2.5kg bag.
2. Rinse it over tap water and sun it to dry. (Normally I sun it for 1 – 2 days).
3. Slice the Ginger into thin pieces.
4. Then heat up the wok, put all the Ginger in.
5. Fry the Ginger until it’s dry.
6. Pour the Brown Rice in.
7. Stir fry over big fire for 10 mins.
8. Then continue it over small fire for 15 mins.
9. Add in the North American Ginseng.
10. Stir fry it over big fire for 10 mins.
11. Stir fry over small fire for 30 mins.
12. Then, wait for it to cool down before putting it into a container.
For Consumption:
1. Boil some water until it reaches the boiling point.
2. Take 3 Table Spoon of the Ginseng Brown Rice Ginger Mix into the Thermo Flask (approx 1.5litres)
3. Pour in the boiling water.
4. Keep it aside for at least 30 mins before consumption.
Ginseng Brown Rice Ginger Tea
Ginger will repel the wind from the body and Ginseng is to boost one’s energy. Ginseng Brown Rice Ginger Tea is said to reduce water retention, help one to boost one’s energy and quench thirst. And also, after confinement, one can do away with the Ginger to make it an everyday drink. 🙂
Note: One can also add in Red Dates or replace the Ginger with Red Dates (after the Confinement) to serve as a daily drink. 🙂
Found this back in my archives in the Year 2014. Please note, this was written in the Year 2014 when I am just 25 years old!
From a point of view of a young (working) mum.
Please note that this would be a lengthy post. 🙂
And this is my story…
I was pregnant with my elder girl, Sharanne when I am still doing my part-time degree over at Kaplan Singapore. I guessed I did brave through 2 semesters with her in my tummy and the best part, my last paper was just a week before my expected delivery date (August 2010). So I had her through an emergency c-section on 19 August 2010 when I am just 21 years old.
Everything from pregnancy was a trauma for me as I didn’t know what to do being a new mum and everything was like, wow, new to me. I need to get to know and pick up new things such as lingoes and terms like to latch on, burping postures and etc… Although it was “scary” in a way, I am thankful to have my mum, my extended family (in-laws) and experienced mummy friends who guided me through the days.
Sharanne at Minutes OldSharanne at Few Hours Old
I remember the instance when I had to discharge from the hospital without Sharanne as she had serious jaundice issue. That moment, I teared like nobody because I am so scared to lose her and I didn’t know what the hell the Doctor is trying to tell me. But well, everything went on fine until…
At that point in time, I was still breast feeding Sharanne and my period didn’t come at all which both my Gynae and my friends told me that it’s quite normal. I didn’t pay attention to it so I live my life as per normal. My days are just like spending with Sharanne and looking out for jobs (as I had finally graduated). I was offered a position at a statutory board after a few months of hardwork but I told them, I can only start work in January 2011 as I want to spend more time with Sharanne.
Sharanne at Months Old.
I took a short celebratory trip in late 2010 to Taiwan – to celebrate my birthday, my graduation, my new role in life as a mum, my new found job. However, I felt nauseous and super unwell throughout the whole trip. Somehow or rather my instinct told me… I “might” be pregnant. And I bought a pregnancy test kit when I am during my last few days back in Taiwan. Guess what, I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN.
When I returned to Singapore, I quickly made an appointment with my Gynae. He confirmed on my pregnancy and checked that the EDD was in Early July. In other words, I am pregnant with my 2nd one… when Sharanne is roughly two months old. My Gynae told me that it’s ok and due to my age, the womb recovered quite fast and thus I am able to get pregnant within a short span.
At that point in time, I wasn’t sure if I can cope with 2 kids of such a close age gap and I heard a lot from my friends that Sharanne might not understand and might just throw a tantrum by seeking MORE attention which literally freaks me out but well, I LOVE KIDS! 🙂 And also, I was shattered because I just secured a job and now, who will employed someone who is soon to be going on maternity leave.
But to my astonishment, my potential employer still accept me despite my pregnancy as I think it’s fair for me to voice it out to them. Till date, I am really thankful for their kindness as it’s not easy to find such a good employer to start with.
Random Inserts: As I go along, I will list down various Pro(s) & Con(s). For easy references, I will highlight the Pros and Cons.
Well well, for as a start, the Pro that I have is (it works be it whether I have 2 or 3 kids):
PRO – Things can be passed down:
I was so happy when my Gynae told me that I’m expecting a girl. Because when I’m pregnant with Sharanne, I bought a lot of clothes and I didn’t know that babies outgrown the clothes, THIS fast. So I was thinking that Baby No. 2 can just hop on to whatever I bought for Sharanne as majority of the clothes were brand new and unworn. (Sharanne is a fat baby. LOL)
Another PRO would be:
I know what I will be going through.
I would stare blankly when I hear the various lingoes. I know what to expect and won’t be as fearful as per compared to my first pregnancy. I know what to expect and what’s the rough outcome…
The Cons:
Difficulties in Handling No 1.
As Sharanne is still a baby and by the time I was 6 month pregnancy with Andrealynn (the name of Baby No 2) when the tummy shown, I had a hard time in bathing Sharanne and carry her. I will get tired easily and hardly had the breath to play with Sharanne especially when I had started my full time job when I am just 3 months pregnant. My life then > Job, Sharanne, Visit Gynae, Rest.
Fast forward >>> I gave birth via C-sect on 8th July 2011 to Andrealynn.
Andrealynn at BirthAndrealynn at Few Hours Old
That was the best moment of my life as its my first witnessing the birth of my child. Sharanne was an emergency so I had to go through full body anesthesia. But Andrealynn’s was a half body anesthesia. 🙂
I had the first tears of joy. And life is definitely beautiful with the kids.
As Sharanne was nearing a year old then. She was totally at lost with the new addition. And after a few rounds of interaction, I could say… they will the best playmates in life, forever.
My friend told me do buy a toy each representing each of them and do an exchange, like an acceptance of one another and they will be the best friends of life. I did and not sure if it did attribute to the fact of acceptance.
Well well, having 2 kids of an young age is an issue when especially Sharanne is still taking her baby steps and learning to walk.
CON – Exhaustive in terms of Mental, Physical and Psychological.
Mental – As I need to keep an eye on one another and at times I need to break Sharanne’s fall when she’s learning to walk and suddenly, Andrealynn wails. Physical – As I need to wake up at weird hours to cuddle and feed either one of them and through many intervals and at times, I need to hug/ carry and show physical affection to Sharanne to ensure her that she’s still has my attention. Psychological – If the other half is helping. Good for one. If not, one might just have depressing thoughts. So guys, always be there and help out your wives.
But on another side,
PRO – AGILITY SKILLS AND TIME MANAGEMENT = MULTI TASKING SKILLS
I get to improve on my agility skills in managing the two babies. Make it three if you consider the husband as one. And also time management made me learnt to multi task as sometimes their feeding schedules will clash and I need to feed 2 babies at 1 go if not I will get either one wailing or in worst case scenarios, 2 wailing babies. And the above two constitutes to me, being a multi tasker. I can just feed milk via bottle and coax the other one to sleep via cuddle. Trust me, this gets better when I had 3 girls.
The TWO of them. Andrealynn and Sharanne.
I must say that it’s important to coach the elder one well. Because she will be the role model for her sister to follow. Afterall it’s a monkey see, monkey do kind of thing. Thus I begin to implant expectations on Sharanne and slowly she seems to be a “bossy” yet caring sister for Andrealynn and of course, Rayshirl in times to come.
1 of the PROs of having two kids is:
They won’t feel alone and there’s always a playmate. It will excel in their character development as they will understand the term: Sharing is Caring.
Best of all, when Andrealynn is 2 months old, I got the astonishing surprise… I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN, FOR THE THIRD TIME in the row. Even my Gynae was amazed with me and told me that for C-sect birth, I can only be cut up to 4 times. And the EDD was in Late June which meant it was too, roughly 11 months apart. Well, I didn’t expect it and it came as a surprise to everyone. A god’s gift always bring wonders and the best.
At that point in time, I was thinking, thank god that I had a stable job if not it will be financially taxing.
And being super seasoned with the whole process, the pregnancy and everything was a breeze. I always shared with Sharanne and Andrealynn that I am expecting another cutiepie in my tummy and getting them involved in a way of or another through the pregnancy process.
Fast forward, again >>> I had my third bundle of joy, Rayshirl through C-sect on 26 June 2012.
Rayshirl’s birth was a memorable one as I delayed my labour when Alex’s Grandma passed away on 17 June 2012. I pushed it from the initial 20th to 26th and thank god, Rayshirl is a good girl that she didn’t come out earlier.
Rayshirl at Few Hours Old
The cutest part of Rayshirl’s birth was that before I packed up to the hospital for the delivery. Sharanne being the big sister remembered about the toy exchange which I conduct for her and Andrealynn. As I had no time to shop for any, she stuffed her favourite toy into my delivery bag and told me that it’s for the soon to be born sister and Andrealynn followed suit when she saw Sharanne doing it.
I was super touched by it because being at a young age, they can give up their toys to someone dear. And it brings me to understand that why can’t us, adults learn such simple lessons from the kids? The kids can walk the talk at this age… Why can’t we when as adults, we had greater understanding as per compared to them.
And thank god, Sharanne and Andrealynn were stunned to see Rayshirl for the first time and again, after a few rounds of interactions, they accepted each other’s presence.
PRO – Learning life lessons from the kids.
At times, certain things that they did, bring out the basic of life such as, happiness. The above shows me a lesson that being happy is not what you possess physically.
And having three kids, also meant that I am spoilt for choices and sharing will enables them to earn more choices. Such as, I can buy 3 different flavours of ice-creams and if they share the food, they will get to eat 3 different flavours instead of one. It also help in terms of balancing out the economy of scale. I guessed this will help a lot when I enrolled them for music lessons.
Another PRO would also be: There will be a mediator/ neutral stand in times of disagreement. Because when 2 kids fell out with one another, it would be the adult who will mediate between the two. But in this case, there will be one soft-hearted who will stand in to either apologize or to neutralize the tension.
However, the con might just be, financially taxing as you can now no longer buy one but need to buy three items instead. And having three it meant, split of attention. 2 kids are easily to manage as the husband and I just had to manage one respectively but now, with 3, it tends to be challenging especially when I’m bringing 3 of them out together but after awhile, I’m getting a hang of it. Oh yes, the placement child seats in the car is also a challenge. Three of them will take up the whole row of my back seat and I guess I need a MPV soon! And as parent, you need to learn to balance out the attention between the 3. Having one kid makes u focus ALL of your attention but having you… One needs to ensure that they get equal attention and minimize jealousy issues.
Another issue is that, I needs to get a bigger bag because having to pack for 3 will at times made me bring a weekend bag out. LOL. #findingexcusetoshopasalways
Things had always get better as they grew such as now as three of them can walk on their own, it’s not as physically exhaustive. On the positive note, I just need to “suffer” now but enjoy later. Talking about sufferings, another challenge is that, it’s like “end of world” when they fall sick together. It will be super duper… exhaustive in whatever ways. Burnt out is the word.
But the good thing about the young mum is that, I had energy to give the best in whatever ways and to play and run around with them. Hahaha I guess they had the hyper genes like me! 🙂
But I just want to say, be it whether you have one, two or three kids. Parenthood is a journey whereby it widen the horizons. I learnt a lot from the kids and it really opened up my mentality (to keep an open mind and accept changes and etc…) and knowing what love is, at the bigger picture. Despite whatever it is, it’s (Parenthood) not an easy journey and congrats to all, who picked this path.
And it’s not always that people are understanding towards your commitments. Friends might just walk out of your life when they don’t see your commitment to “go on a shopping trip with them” and etc… Although having kids might be seems as equivalent to having lesser time for other things/ people.
Trust me, surprises and daily life lessons will enrich one’s life fully and made one a stronger person (in every single terms such as mentality, physically and psychological) as it had enriched mine and shaped a better character development for myself thus I would like to say that having them are the best decisions I ever made thus far. 🙂
The Chubby Chubs Trio at a Zoo Outing in May 2014.
Having three young kids back home is definitely not an easy feat. With this post, I would like to thank everyone especially my mum, my grandma, my family, my extended family (in-law’s) in rendering their assistance to assist me in times of need. Also to my employer and colleagues who are understanding enough. Also to my soulmates (aka real friends) who understand my commitments. And thank you to my 3 girls who are considerably well behaved and especially to Sharanne who did her part as the Big Sister in looking after the younger ones.
And a pat on the shoulder of every parent. Cheers to Parenthood. 🙂
And to all parents, please take care of your health especially for mummies, for consecutive births, do not be stubborn and must take super extra good care as it’s tolling the body. LOL.
At 25+ years old, I’m proud to say, I am mother of three kids.
I just want to say thank you to the medical team over at Thomson Medical Centre and of course, my Gynaecologist, Dr Lawrence Ang, who’s currently located in Sembawang. 🙂
Update as of the Year 2019 – Maybe I should flip through my archives and repost those archives and do a refresh update on how to cope with 4 girls. LOL.
The little bun is out on 1st August and I’m 10 days in my confinement, feeling depressed over everything. I need that rest but I can’t rest and looking at Little Bun, I am motivated to go on stronger and tougher.
I doubted I had the courage to relook into the near future, everything seems so cloudy – I don’t know how to move on with my career because another side of me wants to witness the growing up of Little Bun and DRMs. Every single job that came in with an attractive offer requires me to travel constantly. Draining up every single dollars and cents for this pregnancy made me feel bad towards DRMs. Sometimes I wonder if my life is really jinxed.
If only life is so perfect that I had a pillar of support, someone whom I can trust wholeheartedly, love wholeheartedly, less argumentative, less irritating and be there for me always. If only there is this person alive.
The husband had been slogging his life away and I really feel bad about it at times but again, BFF told me, it’s his outright duties, responsibilities and role. And there are inner thoughts about other stuff. Hopefully you feel me when I’m at my lowest.
On another hand, I wonder if the Government is serious about helping local enterprise because apparently, it doesn’t feel so. Because I had met up with so many roadblocks during my enterprise journey but I will persevere through. Because hardwork will reap success.
Am blessed to have many friends who are there cheering me on, providing all levels of support and importantly, family who are always there for me.
My MIL cycled all way from her house to my house and cooked for me EVERY SINGLE DAY – where to get this type of MIL? Despite everyone asking me to rest, I guess I got this super jian4 ming4, slogging on my computer away on both enterprises. 🙂
I CAN DO IT.
On contra, I am still exploring options and is attending interviews DURING my confinement. #WHATALIFE
I seriously just want to be grounded back home and look at Little Bun every single day. LOL. Reality is harsh.
I guess it’s always a fine line in between everything. And best, overthink leads to depression.
As an over-comer (if there is ever such a word) of depression, I guessed when I became inactive at work, depression started to kick in. What a workaholic life — which brings me to the next point.
Why did I choose this path? 2017/ 2018 is a bad year of bad decision making.
Preggo and no one wants to hire and get stuck in a situation where I can’t seems to figure it out and stuck in the deep shit with all the relevant agencies.
Why did I choose to be preggo when I had already kind of restart my life – with the kids all grown up and ready – I need to restart my life in terms of fine tuning to the lifestyle. I need another 7 years to be ready as I need the youngest one to get into a Primary School.
Because of Pointer <1>, I speculate that I need to return to the workforce soon enough and again, I guess I will not have ample time to bond with my kid(s)/ recover from the post par tum and once again, my body will be screwed up due to all these. Correction – it’s already screwed up.
Pregnancy/ Motherhood seems to be enjoyable from others POV but all I feel that I am suffering – to take care of all the bills, fret over life and etc, all alone.
I need to tell myself, stop thinking for others because no one will think for you. And for the kids, I will pick $ over anything else.
This is my main motive in life and indeed harsh fact of life that I had to choose a career that $ is more important than my own passion. What a joke.
Why can I find someone dependable when I’m at my lowest.
Why is everyone after motive? Why can’t I find someone who shares the same mentality – sometimes it’s better than to give than to receive. No expectations, nothing.
Penning these down to remind myself in near future. Perseverance will get me somewhere one day.
Countdown to see my baby, wipe out my savings 也是值得 (f_ _k the bills) and the depression.
1 more week to 38 weeks and it’s the legit full term of the pregnancy. Looking back, it seems that this pregnancy had made me realised alot in life, appreciating things that I once didn’t bother:
Health – Healthy body bags a healthy pregnancy. I got no guts to announce this pregnancy because every single day, I am threading the fine lines between life and death. I had been experiencing STB (short-term bleeding) from Week 7 to Week 35 and need to get certain jabs done every single 2 weeks. Expensive pregnancy I would say but all is well for the priority of #BabySayge.
Pace of Life (Time) – Yay. I used to be a fast-paced person and a renowned workaholic but this time round, I take things slow. Thanks to o_Bye shitty management, I manage to take a break on the compromise of money.
Wealth – Because I had spent too much on this pregnancy prior to the arrival of the Queen aka #BabySayge, I realised I had learnt alot in this. Rich not in terms of cash but experience and I hope this will make me a stronger person.
The pain had kind of made me too depressed that everything seems to take a negative toll on me but thank god for BFFs, mummies, friends and closed family support that made me walked out from all these.
In the meantime, I will just pray that Sayge will just hang on, as much as I do/ would.
There are a lot of keyboard warriors hiding behind the screen giving judgmental shxts about stuff, tons of stuff.
Yup, turning 30 and this year seems to be a bad year for me. Out of job, weeks before my delivery because the company went into liquidation mode thus every single cents count. I was looking through alot of Influenzers/ KOLs postings on motherhood/ babyhood but apparently, not many would touch on the nodes of many surviving mother struggling to keep the place/ home/ kids/ job together. Challenging to be a lady nowadays man~
So when I turned 30, I realised I become alot auntie-r for obvious reasons. Duhz.
Different priorities and needs (I just want a simple life, not a luxury life.)
I’m getting old – priority is having more $ for rainy days and etc.
I have 3 kids and the economy of scales need to work for me (otherwise I need to wait for the money to drop from the sky, as if huh).
Harsh facts of life that the income gap is getting wider – meaning to say, the richer is getting richer but the poor is also getting, challenging. (I refused to use the word, “poorer” because in my opinion, they are rich in other ways. Experience is something you cannot buy.)
So being a mother of soon to be FOUR girls, I had made various choices in life in terms of labour and I hope this really help those who are struggling, like me.
1. CHOICE OF DELIVERY/ HOSPITAL/ WARD
Okay, IF you are someone who can take high threshold for pain, money is an issue and you do not mind not having a fixed gynae – the cheapest option, delivered at KKH via Natural Birth without Epidural, stays in B1 Ward. Just book an appointment online here (Click the “Book an Appointment” on the right panel) and there you go. You can just end up paying less than 1K+ after Medisave Claims and etc.
GYNAE Choice – For my choice because of health/ pregnancy complications, I went back to my beloved Gynae who delivered the 3 sisters – Dr Lawrence Ang who knows my conditions better than anyone else. I had c-sect done for the 3 sisters (Do not judge me. I did try natural birth but thank you to my No 1 as I couldn’t dilate after donkey years and thus went for an emergency c-sect due to complications and I can’t look back anymore.) And for your info, his rates are good, competitive rate for a Senior Consultant and also, his clinic is in Sembawang (I stay in Yishun ok?) which is nearer to me. Otherwise, you guys can pick his BFF, Dr Adrian Woodworth who is also on the same par and had clinics at Sengkang/ Choa Chu Kang.
DELIVERY Choice – Bo bian leh, got to choose the cheapest option – aka C-Sect with Spinal. C-Sect with Epidural is slightly expensive but well, it depends on individual.
WARD Choice – One thing I like about Dr Lawrence Ang is that, his rates hor, he will charged you for 4-bedded ward pricing but there is an auto upgrade to 2-bedded one. I did stay in single-bedded before and the only pro is that, the baby AND the husband can be forever with you throughout your stay. But LOL, I’m going to see the baby for the rest of my life. That 3D2N will not make a difference to me.
For the Medisave part – Can claim up to $3,500 and $900 for antenatal expenses (Do bring along all the original receipts upon your admission and the nurse will assist you on the claims for both)
I will share my final bill with everyone here after delivery but expected to top up cash between $4k to $6k depends on how serious my pregnancy complications. Sighs for my lousy body/ health and me.
2. CONFINEMENT NANNY – YAY OR NAY?(SEE OPTION 3 IF U WENT ON A NAY).
Okay being a mother of 3 and had experienced confinement for 3 times, I guess I am seasoned enough not to engage a confinement lady. A NAY FOR ME.That 3K plus to engage 1x confinement lady hor, I can put it for better use like buy stuff for the girls and etc. But of course, if anyone in the family can help you to look after abit, is a bonus – like my mum/ family members/ extended family had always kept a lookout for one another. And in the past aka the ancient days, where got people engage confinement lady? They look after the babies/ the whole kampung by themselves.
The only shit thing that one needs to do is that; follow the strict confinement rules. Here’s mine:
Shower with the Confinement Herbs. You can get the herbs from Eu Yang Sang/ Hock Hua or those traditional medical shops and just ask for Da Fong Ai 大风艾. Otherwise you can check out Carousell or purchase the herbs from JB, Malaysia (Price is definitely cheaper). I bought a 31 days worth of herbs because I had intend to shower almost everyday. The keyword – intend. If my mum happens to see this, she will slaughter me alive but well, I think hygiene is way more important.
Eat alot of Ginger and Sesame Oil. I intend to airfry Old Ginger as Chips before my birth and add into every single shit I eat for confinement. LOL I will share the recipe and etc in hopefully my next post.
Drink alot of Ginger/ Long Gan + Red Dates Tea. The elderly says, drinking water during confinement will cause water retention and thus cannot drink water during the confinement, instead drink alot of ginger/ long gan + red dates/ dang3 sheng1 water. For me, I stock up Taiwan Jiang Mu Tea + Taiwan Long Gan + Red Dates Tea via Qoo10 here and also bought the dang3 sheng1 water combi from the traditional medical shops. Lastly, I had stocked up this cordyceps + ginseng bottle similar to bu3 yao1 jing1. AND my mother gave me alot of D.O.M. Again, for cheaper option, can carousell/ ask friend to buy from taiwan/ airfrov or buy from JB, Malaysia.
Wear well. – socks/ long pants and etc. I bought alot of nursing wears from Qoo10 and Carousell sia. Cheap and good. 🙂
3. CONFINEMENT FOOD DELIVERY.
Another option is that if you are not engaging a confinement lady, you can consider ordering a 28-days confinement meals. For me, as I am a vegetarian. I only had one choice that’s from Nature Veg. I did order their trial meal to try and guess what, the portion is scary that I think I can eat the same shits for 3 meals. So as of now, I decided not to go without the ordering of confinement meals and cook on my own (See Pointer 2, Point 2 – Eat alot of Ginger and Sesame Oil.) because:
I am a small eater. I eat like a bird and NOT particular about food.
Save the money. Look at the cost of the engagement.
Improved my cooking and thank god for the invention of double boiler/ slow cooker and etc.
I can use this time to improve my cooking. And I had prepared alot of recipes to go with for my 28 days. 🙂 I will blog about this real soon kays.
Perhaps I might change my mind if I decided to put time into better use. But well, as of now, I shall keep it as it is. And my mum did say one cannot always touch the water. Looks like I have someone to prepare my ingredients and wash the dishes. =P
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Afterall, even if I engage the confinement lady/ meals, after my 28 days of confinement, I will still need to be on own what. So doesn’t matter. I bathed my 3 girls since they are a teeny tiny little bub.
And hor, if I can save near to 4K plus if I do everything on own leh. Of course, got help is a bonus but 天时, 地理, 人合 is not with me right now. I can do it. 🙂
And for the others essentials for myself/ baby – I got it from Qoo10/ Carousell/ Baby Fairs/ Online Promotions. Great Singapore Sales for the win. For baby clothes/ items wise, I am good with preloved from family (Thank you Aurelia. :X) and BABIES OUTGROWN THEIR CLOTHES DAMN FAST.
Good to have a network of supportive family/ mummies and friends.
Thank you to those who had lend me a helping hand thus far and give words of encouragements. Staying positive is important. And ta-da, I spent near to 2 hours to blog this entry sia. Going to continue my packing of the room and some admin works.
The shit is getting real. I’m feeling tired every single day and teary. I had alot of unjust within me. Instead of bottling up, I decide to pen this note now.
My body is fucked up. Yet, I do not want to spend a single cents in getting in up and running after my delivery. Why? Because I rather spend the extra $ on the kids. Bringing the kids up like a single mum takes alot of courage and tons of financial planning especially no one is helping. Don’t believe, go google the childcare/ educations/ meal costs. Actually no need, just walk down the milk powders/ baby diapers aisle in supermarket and you will be shocked for the rest of your life.
For myself and this upcoming delivery, I paid almost everyhing. From visiting gynae, jabs and etc, sometimes I ask myself, why ah? Why am I in this shit? Total investment till date stand stills at SGD 14k as of today date. Blame it on my lousy body.
And my post-birth, I cut down on confinement food/ nanny and everything else. You think I don’t want to engage meh? But I rather have all the $ saved up and please tolong tolong just let me have my kid out safe ok?
I wonder, why did I put myself through this? Finally get out of the shits after 6 years and focusing on something else but everything seems to go haywired since last year.
Bad choices I guess or perhaps bad luck.
My bad luck influenced my circles of close friends. Sometimes I can’t help it to see people around me in the same shits. And I wonder, can’t I just find a guy who can provide for me, willingly? Am I not good enough for anyone? Sometimes I wonder why didn’t I pick a rich guy in the first place, at least I have one item off my list that I do not need to fret about and I can lead a lone life despite being married.
Alot of people said, “just divorce lor“. Saying it is easier than to be done. 13 years of together-ness, the family knows him and he’s the father of the kids. How can one say leave, jiu leave leh? Housing how? Kids how? You think very easy is it? Try doing it yourself lor. It takes alot of time/ efforts/ courage and etc to get things moving. And I had been through the downest point of my life with no help. Doesn’t meant I need to do this as part of a revenge – to leave at one downest?
过来人会知道我在讲什么。
Job wise, is as fucked up. No one will employed a pregger and the Management of ex-company really suck to the max. Can’t do a shit change to my career with this situation. Anyway, karma will hit them one day and I speculate that its coming soon for them. The only good thing, I can only pray that MSF will be nice to me and direct reimburse me my maternity benefits to lessen the burden in near future. Infantcare cost 1.8K before subsidy or the cheapest one at 1.5K WTF.
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On a positive note, I really look up to my mum. She had a broken leg right now but she still cares for me. We had a H2H talk and she shared with me on her experience as a mother. She told me, god let me go through all these to let me understand hardship and perhaps mould me into a stronger person and DO YOU KNOW…
I am not alone. My mum went through the same shit that I did. Not on the husband part, my dad really works hard for the family but to cut costs and save up for better days, my mother did her own confinement ON HER OWN for the birth of my sister back in 1993 and at the same time, care for my brother and I.
She told me about some experiences that I really think I am quite fortunate now with all her help in terms of physical, emotional and financial* support. *She bought me tonic and stuff and forever gives me angbao for no reasons? -_-
Goodness. I wonder why men don’t bother with all these?
Quote from BFF – “Cannot 自动 abit? Must tell you guys to buy than buy? Might as well, we do ourselves? Always take it for granted.” >>> That I always ask myself, why ah?
Back to my mum; I ask her how she managed; she says “like that lor.” Semo sai answer but she did share that:
She cooked her own confinement food.
Bathe for the baby with the help of my 二伯母 once awhile but majority she did it on her own, with the open wound.
My maternal grandma will popby as and when she can to check on her (See, the power of mother’s love).
During rainy days, she had to carry my baby sister in a sling and walk my brother and I to school, which is 15 minutes away from home, during her confinement. >>> I almost died when I hear this within me. 世上只有妈妈好。
Despite doing the confinement thing alone, on her own, she’s real disciplined about it. Really no aircon, no shower, drank only red dates long gan tea, ate alot of sesame oil, ginger and D.O.M and the traditional stuff which I doubt I can traditionally follow.
Off the records, my dad did not enter the delivery ward with my mum and he did not witness any one of our birth on an immediate note because he was slogging his life away. >>> If my another half did this to me, I think he don’t need to come back liao.
The only good thing about my dad, he pays for everything. I meant, “OF COURSE RIGHT. My mum is a SAHM.” Good genes run in the family because my “elder” brother (who is 1 year my junior) is a total replica of him.
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Penning the above for my memory sake and also to remind myself, a strong woman will always breed strong lady with character. Somemore my mum give birth to all of us via natural birth, without the shit epidural. *Clap clap* If my mum can do the above, with a better environment that I am in right now and with her support, I can make it man.
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Countdown to the day where Sayge is gonna be here. I gonna pray that everything went smoothly because my limits for everything had been stretched.
I hope she is an easy baby to take care of and hopefully to restart my life on my own. Insert reminders by BFF as and when so that I will constantly not fall into traps anymore.
“爱情不能当面包吃。”
Cheers to a better life in coming future and hopefully my life will change for the better and NOT FOR THE WORST.
Reminder again, I need no man in my life. Thank you for all the pain that men bring along, to me.
SIDENOTE: THE ABOVE ARE PENNED IN MY EXACT THROUGHTS/ EMOTIONS. There is nothing to be ashamed about and if you have negative comments, I suggest that you f off immediately. I take no bullshits. I will be nice if you are nice. 🙂
After strong contemplation and encouragements, I decide to brush up all my courage to announce my pregnancy to the WHOLE WORLD and decide to pen this via here as keepsake >>>
😎😍 [SURPRISE] We are going to get FAR (Do-Re-Mi-Fa if you get this pun) with this announcement.
Do-Re-Mi aka @ongsisters will be welcoming a new sibling into tbe family.
THIS IS GONNA BE A REAL EMOTIONAL POST.
B’cos this pregnancy is a real pain in the ass where there are so many complications involved. Fyi, I DID consider abortion at the very start (do not judge because there are indeed complications that I was torn in between). Thus far, I had ZERO courage to celebrate my pregnancy because I do not know if I can bring this child alive. Imagine this, I announce my pregnancy but sometimes later I need to mourn death. 😭
T1: I puke through every single day in the first trimester to an extend where I got dehydrated and had to do jabs in between weeks. And I lost 5kg due to work stress and all these.
T2 and Forward: Weird cravings that set me thinking out loud. Work is draining me due to high level of stress because of the uncertainty (and yes there could even be a chance that the co might NOT pay for the ML but well…) 😩 Going to MOM wont help and Im not going to comment as its still an unknown.
During these period, I would like to thank my BFF @fishyhui for being there for me, buddy @alicewonderlandjing, #CBFF @conspiracy_of_one and @mojojojotan plus the #teamwoodlands who kept this pregnancy a secret at my order LOL and encourage me all the way till now. Of course, my #FLSclique with sibei chio the chiobu @jtll_ and 天下第一YDK @leroyl + the o-Bye colleagues (including the capable interns) who had fight the war with me and endured all my nonsense, till the very end. And also those who had always been there to hear my damn rants.
❤️ LASTLY MY SOULMATE, MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND EXTENDED FAMILY FOR THE SUPPORT, ADVICES AND SAFEKEEP THIS SURPRISE TILL NOW and those who had lifted me up by dropping motivation as and when I got super down.
I decided to post this now to at least keepsake the memories down the road and I AM GONNA BE A PROUD MAMA OF FOUR KIDDOS AND 2 FURKIDS. Maybe I should just vlog or blog about my life as a mother of 4.
Next up, wanna do a sidebet on gender?
I am thankful that I got a fair share of congratulations and some people were just peeved with this fact of Baby No. 4 and started to judge.
Well, my priority still stays as the healthy birth of Baby No. 4 and I couldn’t care much about how people perceive me.
Sometimes I think, motherhood tends to be a lonesome journey. I had been thinking alot recently and to a point, overthinks. I wonder if Life had changed my life better, or made me a better person. Somehow, it did.
I learnt to be more independent than the safe shelter of my parents. I learnt to fight and earn for what I want in Life without depending or rendering much help however every single me-time, I will overthink and this somehow made me depressed.
Parenthood had gained a lot of insights on things that don’t matter to another perspective that changes my outlook on life. I used to think leading a life, to go on holidays every single f* years, live in a condo and drive a better car would be something that I would be proud of and enjoyed. Till now, I realised, it’s not. The only achievement that I looked forward to is the faces of my children in glee and happiness and enjoyed life as it is. The time spent and the love that counts, matter the most. And the only thing I work for would be putting my kids’ first, the housing and education needs.
I had lost my sense of directions for the past few years especially within the last 12 months. Alot of people actually asked me – why I actually name this wordpress as hualaalaa instead to link back to myself – willynn or my insta; supermeowmee. To be frank, hualaalaa is more like an alter-ego (not that I am crazy and had a split personality but..), it’s more of a pen name that I will used to pen down my thoughts and depressing ones so I would prefer to keep it as a separate entity.
This blog is meant to keep the thoughts as memoirs.
4 more months to my next milestone. I’m torn between engaging the confinement lady or just getting the confinement food. Budgeting is important as the economy of scale had been stretched for now and I’m re-looking alot of things in life.
That sense of direction. 🙂 Hopefully I get that soon. 🙂
It seems like pregnancy supposed to be a celebratory thing instead of being constantly depressed over finances, job roles and etc.
March seems like it had always been a bad ass month for me especially since I left PA 2 years back. Last year, I had to walk out from the traumatic experience of a similar #metoo incident that left me a quick mark on my resume. This year, I had to ponder over an unjust change of job role and had to curb with various constant threats of me, losing the job.
I guessed it right. Gender discrimination exists in this era and ecosystem. Pregnancy supposed to be celebrated, well received than in a depression state. I can’t sleep well thus I am typing at this timing at 5.44 am to let out my thoughts and also, to pen down this important and painful lesson for me to remember.
I made wrong choices over the months and sometimes I wished that I could just turn the time back especially in terms of career. But there is one thing for sure, I will never forsake my kids be it in whatever circumstances it is. My 3 daughters are the sacrifices of the harsh and pathetic life I am leading, being a single income, staying within a unsupportive circle of trust and the need to live to work (not work to live).
However having said that, I had indeed thought of through of abortion at the initial start because this pregnancy was never easy to begin with. Ironic isn’t it? All because it was expensive, painful and all the nasty things that a pregnancy that shouldn’t be encountered, was seen and fulfilled on me. I went through 3 different Gynae to have my issues fixed.
Yet, I need to mask this in my early days and do my best in something (because in fearing that I will be terminated for whatever reasons), all for an exchange of a self-perceived discrimination and in a situation that one will squeezed me further till the hope of an instant self surrender.
I admired the courage that a woman had to go through an abortion because the guilt will forever stay. The courage to live on with this guilt is a strength that one can never imagine. Having said that, I am blessed with 3 great Gynae who had never once asked me to give up on this. They could just go for the easy money with just one advice – abortion. They just spoke with positive words. Nothing heals better especially from a doctor’s mouth. On contradictory, I almost became a murderer by scheduling the “A” appointment not once but thrice but for these appointments, the furthest I went was the counter of the clinic and I made 1000000000 and 1 excuses not to proceed with the next step. The Gynae immediately gave me an “ORD” status as he said, I wasn’t operational ready. Thank god, a life had been saved. Despite all the downside of this miracle pregnancy…
Of course, somehow or rather I am glad for various supportive personnels; I am starting the “thank-you” rounds not in any forms of order.
Jojo & BFF – the first few (s) who knew about it and had been there for the encouraging words. Really thank you for keeping the spirits up during the early days.
L&J – Sounds as if I am scolding you guys vulgarities. You know who you are and in case #sliteyes happened to chance across this. Both of you are in fact, in the 1st 5-people list to know about the pregnancy. Thank you for making work fun despite all the nonsensical arguments and constantly reminding me to eat well (and on time), live well, heal well and keeping a look out for me. Thank you for all the junk food, tonic and laughters. Importantly, the love everyday in office, it just kept me going. And to Brother L, “Hope is indeed a dangerous shit thing.”
Another Half – I only want to thank you for stopping me at various times over harsh decisions but to be frank, the harshest decision had yet to come. But I thank you for being in my life to enable me to see things more vividly especially on the ugliest sight of the human beings. Thank you for gifting me the kids and some impromptu support as and when I needed it.
June from the Buttons Project– The lunch at J8 indeed inspired me alot especially on the part that you gifted me that book written by Jennifer. It was never easy to go through whatever you went through and had to further relate this to me, a complete stranger and in turn, become strength for me to go on further. May you continue this journey to inspire and lead people out from the darkness.
Jennifer – Although we had yet to meet but your story had pulled me from the pit hole of darkness. Your mission had inspired me to work harder and in near future inspire and empower more women when I succeed in my calling. May you continue this journey to inspire and lead people out from the darkness similar to what June did. Forgiving is easy but Forgetting is hard. It was never an easy feat but us, women can do it.
Jim – Although we kind of met only once in person thus far but somehow I believed you are different from the rest of the employers/ people I met. But your words of encouragements during the early days had indeed sank further into me that I reminded myself if one day, I were to succeed in terms of the career, I would need to adopt approaches like you as I believed in #payingitforward. Would look forward to a chance to work with/ for you.
Le Sister & Mum – To my sister, thank you for being a listening ear and the comment “Why would you kill your own child when you can’t bear to even put down a dog.” woke me up instantly. Although you still suck at communication but I am glad that you listened. To my mum, thank you for being there for me despite my tantrums.
To the people who left me a PM to ask how I am and constantly reminded me how great I was as a person. All these encouraging words had brought me out from the darkness and it saved me as a person who once had suicidal thoughts. Thank you Jac, David, Zie and etc.
To my Daughters and Furkids – Although I am not sure if you get to read this but thank you for being my happy pills, always. Despite my hectic schedules since Day 1, you guys rock my world and will always be my world. Sorry that I can’t commit to give you a better life. It’s holidays I know but yet I need to work. Mummy loves you all. 🙂
YO-UR (you know who I am referring to) – Indeed a love/ hate relationship with you but thank you for making me a better person and also, letting me to see myself as a better person. Thank you for constantly dropping me reminders and strength from afar and letting me know that I am not alone. I do not know what strength you possess but despite all my nasty words to you, you still believed in me and my dreams. Thank you for all the tender loving care and things that you do, in hoping to make my life better. Perhaps I should dedicate one post in near future if I have the chance, to you. I wonder how you trained your tolerance level at times. Whatever it is, I am grateful towards you and I meant it.
MYSELF – Life is full of up & down. Everyone has their own time in their own race. This defeat doesn’t meant life is up and you should give up. The patients in the palliative wards are fighting to live. You must paid it forward once you succeed so that other women who might be more unfortunate are able to survive this ordeal. Life is a painting, the good or bad, the sorrow or happiness are all determined by the Artist. This is just a passing phase, it will be better and you can do it. Halting plans perhaps meant you need to learn more before executing it. Go and open up your eyes and heart. to measure the beauty of life. When the doors of opportunities closes, go build one. You need to find a calling and your calling is the passion for the community.
Perhaps… Remember this.
“Sometimes God closes doors because its time to move forward. He knows you wont move unless your circumstances force You. Trust God, Always.”
It would not be a goodbye but a goodnight for now. I will wake up to a better tomorrow. I hope.
WILLYNN (@hueyytingg) 